Better Off Dead
by missmelly
Summary: Bill and Sookie deserve a chance at love. Characters are the sole property of Charlaine Harris and her publishers.
1. Chapter 1

I walked in the cemetery, my heart heavy and sad. Ever so faintly, I could see the lights at the Compton house shining through the leaves. I missed Bill. I missed talking to him and telling him all the things that concerned me. Sometimes, I think he was only pretending to listen, but he did a darned good job of making me feel special. He had been my best friend, someone I could always turn to, and now I was sure I had no one in my life I could say that about.

The full moon was in and out of high, puffy clouds. I wondered where Jason was tonight and who he was hunting with. I shook my head, determined not to cry, but my sadness was only matched by my loneliness. Bill had once told me I was ruined for humans. No human man would want me after I had been with vampires. He had wanted to hurt me and he had, bad. But he was also right. Even if a man had wanted me, I would not have wanted him—not after the excitement of being with a vampire, of not having to keep my guard up all the time lest I hear devastating thoughts, like I'd heard at Merlotte's tonight.

I tilted my head back to bathe my face in the moonlight, willing myself to be calm, to quiet my head, to believe that there would be a tomorrow that I could greet with happiness. But I could not shake the feeling that my life now was just marking time. Time to grow old alone. Despair welled up through me like a hurricane threatening to knock me over and drag me under, and I was ready to go down with it.

I turned to start home to my empty house and my empty bed and slammed into Bill Compton.

I don't think I made a noise out loud, but my heart jumped up in my throat and the hair rose on the back of my neck. Bill put a hand under my elbow to steady me, even as I hissed at him, "Dammit, Bill, you know I hate it when you do that!"

"Sookie, I am sorry," he said, and he truly looked it. His face seemed careworn, if that's possible for a vampire, and his voice was low with concern. "I could feel you. I could feel your sadness. It was so big I had to come to you. What is wrong?"

I wanted to collapse against him, to sink against that gorgeous body that used to be mine, before… before he betrayed my love and confessed that betrayal to me only under duress from Eric, the vampire who was his boss and elder. But I held myself up as tall as my exhaustion would allow and stared into his deep, remarkably dark eyes.

"Bill, you have a knack for showing up whenever I need someone. But the someone I need is never you."

Bill rocked back from my words like they'd struck him in the face. I had meant them to hurt him. He had hurt me and I would never be the same. He had been my first love in every way, and after tonight's ordeal, I knew he would be my only true love ever. But had his love ever been true?

" My Sookie, "said Bill, so quietly I wasn't sure he had spoken.

"I am not YOUR Sookie," I blazed. "Apparently I never was."

In less than the blink of an eye, Bill was right up against me, the anger and something stronger I could not quite place rolling off him like lava. I was frightened, but so angry it didn't matter. Tonight I needed him and he had taken that possibility away from me forever. I glared at him, my enraged breath heaving in my chest, my fists clenched and ready to strike.

"Oh no, not this again," Bill said and in his voice was an indefinable sorrow and a great tiredness. "You never let me explain."

"Bill, I have told you and told you, there is nothing to explain. Everything about us was a lie. I almost died for you, rather than try to live without you. And now living without you is all that I can do."

If I had whipped him with a lash across his beautiful, chiseled face, he could not have looked more stunned. He stepped back, and ducked his head, but in the moonlight I could see the anger, grief, and fatigue fight across his features. From feet away, I could feel the sadness radiating off him to match and swallow my own. He opened his mouth and my hand shot up and out in a "STOP" gesture. I didn't think I could stand to hear his wonderful voice, that voice that made love to me with every word he spoke, reminding me of how alone I was. He paced away from me and back, studied my face and paced away again.

"Sookie, you have to let me speak." Bill seemed agitated, not his usual calm, collected self. I couldn't imagine what had gotten him so riled up. (Surely that privilege was mine?) And then he told me.

"Once and for all time, you need to hear me. Then I will never bother you again.

"All this time apart from you has been my Hell. I have burned in the sun a thousand days; I have died a thousand deaths. Every time I saw you, knowing you hated me for what I'd done to you, was like a stake thrust through my heart. But I couldn't stay away. Any sight of you, any word from you, even in hate, is like blood to me.

"If I could have chosen, I would have chosen you. If I'd been given a choice, my only choice would be you. You are the only love of my life. There has never been another, and if I survive to be a thousand, there will be no other but you."

"I can't believe you are telling me this! You expect me to believe you love me and you never loved your wife?"

"Yes, " he said simply. "Times were different then. Most people did not marry for love. I cared for her—she was the mother of my children. But I am dead to that life. I am not the human who married her. I have not been for a long time. I barely remember it."

I tucked my face into my chest, avoiding the pain of what I was about to ask, "And Lorena?"

Bill made a course noise of exasperation. "I know others have explained this to you. Lorena was my maker. I had to obey her. And yes, she fascinated me—I won't lie to you about that. But I never loved her. She betrayed me as surely as she did you. I am glad she is dead."

I could feel his eyes boring into mine, willing me to believe him. To my shock, I found I was ready to accept what he said. I had never allowed myself to consider what Bill had felt, that he had no choice but to obey her call and that he had done the only thing he could do to protect me: he left me and went to her, hoping she would leave me alone. Even when she tortured him, he had not revealed my name or my whereabouts. Just the idea of what he had been through softened my heart.

"Oh Bill, " I started, but he interrupted me. "Don't pity me. I did what I was compelled to do. I am a vampire."

If vampires have souls, I could see Bill's glowing in the depths of his dark eyes, eyes that were swimming in tears. It was only the second time I had seen him cry. As his tears spilled down his face, I felt the hard shell that had Bill-proofed my heart crack with an almost audible sound. I couldn't help myself: I stretched up to lick away his tears.

"Sookie," his voice was a ragged gasp, "don't. I can't bear it. I won't be able to stop myself, even if you tell me to."

"I won't tell you to," I said. He looked at me then, a look so molten, I felt it between my legs. My whole body rose to that look, and I lifted my mouth to his and sighed against his soft, cool lips, "I've missed you."

Bill's mouth was hungry on mine and I felt his fangs run out against my tongue. I couldn't catch my breath for wanting him—years of wanting him and pretending I didn't erupted inside me like a tidal wave. He loved me. He always had and he always would. My imprisoned heart felt like it would fly from my chest.

Bill pulled back from me with a suddenness that made me gasp and buried his face in my hair. "If you are playing with me"—I felt the words more than heard them. I leaned back until I could look in his eyes. "Bill, I have never been more serious about anything in my whole life. I have never stopped loving you. I have never stopped wanting you. I have only been so angry with you, so hurt by you, because you matter to me so much."

The old Bill, the hurt Bill, said, "What about Quinn? What about Sam? Eric?"

I put my hands on either side of his face. "I thought you were gone. I thought I was nothing to you. But I wanted to feel those feelings you taught me, that you made happen in me. Except I couldn't find any of those feelings, not with them. Only you can make me feel that way. Only you can make me feel safe and cherished and happy. Only you can fuck me until I'm exhausted and still make me want you more."

At that, his eyes blazed with their curious dark heat, until he was too close for me to see them. He covered my mouth with his. His hands slid under the front of my jeans. I moaned into him and heard the fabric tear, felt the warm night air on my skin as he tossed the denim away like so much tissue paper. Without my even realizing it, he was on his knees in front of me, looking up my body. I looked down at him and watched him look at me like a man starved for food. Bill ran his hands up my flat stomach and under my shirt. I could feel him shivering with desire. I wanted him so badly I ached. Very slowly, like I didn't want to scare a skittish panther, I lifted a leg up and over his shoulder, propping my thigh against his hard, muscular neck. I heard him inhale deeply, smelling my essence. I sank my fingers in his thick brown hair, pulling him to me. As I felt his tongue flick out, I shuddered with longing, with memories of him flooding back. Nothing had changed—as his fingers slipped inside me, as I rocked forward to offer him more of myself, it felt like no time had passed since I had last been with him. I could feel myself riding the crest of a wave of love and grateful lust, and pushed against his avid, probing tongue. I cried out with happy surprise, "I don't think I can stand up any longer," and he was on his feet, enfolding me and laying me back on the grass. With the undetectable speed of a vampire, he was above me, holding himself up on his gorgeous arms.

I smiled up at him and began working loose his jeans. "These have to come off," I said. "Now." He smiled back at me, that confident smile I had missed so much, that smile that told me his pleasure was in my pleasure.

He kneeled up to unbuckle his belt and unzip his jeans. As he shucked them off, the moon broke from behind a cloud and I looked up at my vampire, his glow rivaling the moon for loveliness, his proud masculinity white and hard and trembling with desire. I reached up and circled him with my fingers and delighted when Bill made a very human sound. "Your fingers are hot," he said, sinking down on top of me, his long cool length pressed along mine. I slipped my legs around his waist and helped him glide into me.

At first, he moved in and out of me so slowly I could barely feel the motion; his sculpted face was pure concentration, his lips parted—he was breathing for me because he knew I found it reassuring. He had forgotten nothing. His eyes opened and gazed down into mine.

"Am I dreaming this?" he asked and sounded astonished.

"It doesn't feel like a dream, " I whispered back.

"No, " said my vampire, "I have had this dream so many times, but it never felt like this. This is absolutely you. I love the way you smell. I love your heat. I can't wait to taste you and I thought I never would again." Bill's eyes were so dark and deep I almost couldn't hold his gaze. "I want to pour myself into you. I want to be a part of you. I want you to be a part of me. I never want to be without you ever again."

"I don't think that's possible, " I replied, even as I loved what he had said.

But Bill pushed into me so hard I squeaked, and put his face inches from mine. "Oh there is a way," he said, showing me his gleaming fangs. "I could bring you over."

In my surprise and fright and white-hot desire, I bucked under him and he growled in his throat, beginning to move in earnest. He used long strokes, almost pulling out of me at the peak and driving deep inside me on the return, pressing himself into me so hard each time he made me moan. I had always loved the way he fucked me, and I always would. I wanted him now and I wanted him forever. He began to shake with his approaching release and his growling moved deep into his chest.

"Then do it," I said with no sound, and I felt him leap inside me as he came. I tightened myself around his still hard shaft, flung my arms around him and pulled him into me with my legs as though I'd never let him escape from me. He turned his head to study my face, his delight in me mingling visibly with disbelief.

"Sweetheart, are you quite sure?" Bill's pale face shone in the moonlight, his dark hair falling over his beautiful eyes.

"Bill, if you don't do this now, my courage will vanish and we may be lost to each other forever."

Fire leapt in Bill's eyes, but still he hesitated. "I have never done this before. You are my first. I don't know how good at it I will be."

"You, " I almost laughed, "are a virgin?

He nodded silently.

"Bill, to quote you: you could get more skilled, but you will never be any better. You are wonderful."

And with that, I turned my neck to his cool, deadly mouth, and gave up my life to my love.


	2. Chapter 2

I was dreaming. I was a small child and I was very sick. I burned with a high fever that seemed to be melting my flesh. Every cell in my body hurt and my intestines twisted in knots like I'd eaten something rotten. My hair was soaked in sweat and my eyes ached. My mouth was dry as a desert. Even my fingernails felt bad.

Gran was sitting beside me, putting a cold cloth on my forehead. She murmured soothing sounds. She had the sweetest voice, the darkest, sexiest voice… what?

My eyes flew open so fast I felt dizzy. I was… where was I? I seemed to be looking up at a floor—how could I be looking UP at a floor? But there were boards and joists, and I was lying on compacted dirt. I was dressed in a short pink nightgown, the one I'd always kept for myself in Bill's guest bedroom for when I spent the night. A faint, heavenly glow lit the darkness next to me. But I could see in the pitch black like the lights were on.

"Sookie?" Bill's voice was comforting in my ear, like a warm shower on a cold day. I turned my face to my vampire. He was so lovely it almost hurt to look at him. I had always thought of him as handsome, but he seemed painfully beautiful, his eyes like liquid pools of dark in his white face, his thick, silken hair falling over his sculpted brow, puckered with worry, his extraordinary mouth pressed into a tight line of concern.

"Bill?" My voice sounded so… loud, but I thought I was whispering. "Why are we in a basement?"

And then I remembered. Bill had brought me here three days ago, after draining me of my blood—at my invitation, of course—and then opening a vein in his chest for me to drink his. Bill's blood was the best thing I'd ever tasted and I couldn't get enough (I had his blood twice before, but I didn't like it nearly as much those times). His blood tasted red and raw and heavy. It filled my mouth and my body with shining rivers of power and sweetness and joy. I felt ravenous, insatiable.

When Bill had pulled back from me, lest I drain him to the point of weakness, I felt a wave of despair like I'd never known, as though I was bereft of all I loved and all that had meaning for me. I began to cry and Bill lifted me up and carried me to his house. I was sobbing and clinging to him like a baby—for a baby is what I was: Bill's baby. I was a brand new vampire, made by the love of my human life, Bill Compton.

I had not seen Bill or been near him for days and nights as I was lost in my turning. I had hallucinated colors I never knew existed, sounds I'd never heard before, and swirling thoughts from my past; I was ill from the changes speeding through my body, but I was also exhilarated. I dreamed strange, wonderful, terrifying dreams of running through the woods chasing warm things, but somehow through my fear and isolation, I could always feel Bill with me, and in me. Bill had all my blood. And I had his. I was made of him now, and I was him. I always would be. No matter where I was, or where Bill was, we would always be aware of each other. If Bill called me, I would answer, without question or pause. He had made me in his likeness and he was god.

My god spoke to me in the richest, most tender voice: "You must be very hungry. You need to feed now. I will teach you."

"Not just yet," I said. "I feel so strange."

"You are completely changed. You are no longer the human you were."

Bill leaned up on his elbow to look into my eyes. I could feel his mind inside me, probing, searching. I realized with a jolt that I could feel him in my head. It wasn't like my telepathy, but like his thoughts and mine were the same thoughts. Without speaking, I asked him what was worrying him so. Without speaking, he told me that he was concerned that I might not have been turned properly; he had never made another vampire before me (we both knew someone who had been badly turned; his name was Bubba, and he was like a great big child who just happened to be a very famous singer and a vamp).

I had teased Bill for being a virgin. He didn't like being teased, never had, never would—that's why it was always so much fun. But this was not a teasing matter. "I'm fine, Bill. I feel fine. I feel strong. I feel beautiful."

"You ARE beautiful. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I thought you were lovely before… before I brought you over, but now? If I had breath, you'd take it away."

I ducked my head against him, feeling shy, and yet immensely powerful. Could I fly? Could I tear a tree out of the ground, like I'd known Bill to do? A whole new world was about to be mine, but I didn't want it just yet.

I rolled up against Bill, and folded myself tight next to him. His arms went around me and I burrowed my face into his neck. He made the tiniest sound, like a kitten purring, but I could hear him perfectly. I tipped my face up and kissed him. "It's been days. I've missed you."

He studied my face as if he could see my change. I had always been able to see the glow of vampires. Did I glow now to Bill?

"Your lips are cool; I wonder if I will miss your heat?"

"You'll miss my… heat?" I smiled at Bill. Whoo boy, I could feel that urge to tease him bubbling up in me until I thought I'd burst. I lifted a hand to his face and trailed one finger across his lips—he kissed it—down his chest and lower, cupped my fingers through his jeans, squeezing. Bill winced, but grew hard under my hand. I felt for his hand and moved it between my legs—I was already wet in anticipation—I could not believe how fast I was reacting, how immense my desire for him was.

"So I'm not… hot… any longer?" I teased. I put my face into his neck and shoulder—he smelled of salt and smoke like a perfect steak right off the grill. For the first time ever, I felt my fangs run out and it filled me with dread and excitement.

"Sookie, " Bill said in a soft voice of warning. "You must feed."

"I… must?" I replied, feeling my smile spread down to my toes.

Bill nodded.

"Oh? Must I?" This was going to be so much fun! I grabbed his thick dark hair at the back of his neck and pulled back his head. I kissed him the way he had taught me to kiss, long and deep and with my whole body behind it, and all the longing I had ever felt, and all the days and weeks that I had loved him and missed him were in that kiss. I could feel him in my head, kissing me back, loving me back, wanting me completely and always. And always was what we had, but right now I didn't have time to wait.

I rolled over on top of him to slide my tongue between his parted lips. My hands pushed him down and his hands gripped my shoulders, his fingers digging in—but instead of hurting, it made my desire for him skyrocket—he couldn't hurt me. I couldn't hurt him. I grabbed Bill's wrists and pressed his hands down to my breasts—he had told me they were the most perfect breasts in the world. I had never appreciated them quite so much as when Bill cupped them in his avid hands, rubbing his thumbs across my hardening nipples.

I gasped and threw my head back, sighing, "Bill. Bill. Bill." He lifted up like a panther or a snake, in that way only a vampire can, and captured my mouth with his, his tongue pressing for entry. I bit it, drawing blood. He grunted, and drove his tongue into me like a weapon. I bit his bottom lip and tasted the salt and the smoke of his blood. Was I kissing him or consuming him? I couldn't tell. I clenched my thighs around him—at the strength of my grasp, he yelped in surprise—and rolled over and under him.

I looked up at Bill poised over me, blood running down his chin even as the wound was visibly healing—I couldn't stop looking at it—I could smell the metallic scent of Bill's blood and it made me crazy with desire for him. I shook my hair out of my eyes to look deeply into his own, which were huge and dark with shock, and yes—here it comes— delight. He is delighted by me. He broke out into a genuine, broad grin—the first one I had ever seen on Bill's face. Occasionally, in my human form, I would catch a half smile dawning on his lips, and it was always a wonderful and scary thing. But now it made me bark with laughter and flooded me with pure happiness.

I pushed his shoulders up and back, flipping him again simply because I could, and straddled him with my legs. Very, very slowly, to give him plenty of time to see what was coming, I unbuttoned his shirt and eased his collar aside. And supernaturally slowly, I leaned down to the luscious curve of neck into shoulder, nuzzling, inhaling, feeling Bill shiver under me. I let him feel my fangs graze his neck. I let him feel me press them into his glorious white skin, piercing him and drawing on the wound. He began to whine like a hungry puppy, and he struggled to work off his jeans, expecting me to help. I pressed my whole body down on him and drew from the wound again, refusing to help. Bill was genuinely whimpering with lust, but I put my hand behind his head and guided his face to my neck—for a split second he resisted, then I felt his fangs nick my flesh. As he sucked in my blood, I sucked in his, and I could feel the circle of blood flowing from him to me to him to me in an endless copper stream of enchantment, gratitude, and love.

I sucked harder, making Bill growl in part pain, part lust—he really wanted his pants off and I heard fabric tearing. His tremendously hard cock leapt free of his jeans and bounced against my stomach. I erupted in laughter and licked his neck to capture any last delectable flow, pulling my neck away from his mouth. I reached between us to take him in my hand, looking into his eyes. I began to rub the head of his cock over my pulsing nub, slowly and rhythmically, holding his gaze. If I had been human, I would be panting. As it was, I almost could not keep watching him, but seeing his eyes flicker, his lids going heavy with ardor, made me hold his attention.

"Watch me," I barely whispered—this was a trick I'd learned from someone else, during that awful time I didn't believe Bill loved me, and I could barely wait now to share it with my beloved—and his eyes followed mine.

I bent to lick his collarbone, circle one hard nipple with the tip of my tongue, and trailed my lips down his taut belly, tugging his dark hair with my lips. I looked up briefly to make sure he was still watching—he was. I pointed my tongue and slowly, slowly, so slowly encircled the glossy head of his cock, and then ever so gently—my fangs were full out—slid my lips and mouth down his length as far as I could. Bill made a sound deep in his throat that was both a plea and a demand, and I began to slide him in and out of my mouth.

"Sookie," Bill gasped, "Sookie… please… I…" I glanced up to find Bill's hands hovering helplessly around my head, and I whispered accusingly, "You aren't watching!" "Yes… I am… but I…" Bill's inarticulate desire enflamed me. I tipped my head back down, turning my face into his upper thigh, my mouth inches from his femoral artery. Bill's hands ever so gently pulled back my hair so that he could see—I looked up into his dark eyes, deeper, deeper until I felt I was looking at his soul. Bill was trembling like he had a fever. "Please," he said. If I'd been human, I would not have heard him. I smiled ever so slightly. "Please what?" I asked sweetly. "Goddamit, Sookie," Bill roared and grabbed for me, but I was faster and I sank my fangs hard into his thigh. Bill howled with pain and need—blood spurted into my mouth, but I'd barely tasted him before he slithered out from under me, and was behind me justlikethat.

Before I could brace myself, he drove into me with such force he flattened me to the floor and fell on top of me. As he reared back and plunged into me again, I could feel all my passion building up to a white-hot peak, and I thought I would pass out from the intensity. I began pushing up and back to meet him halfway as he pounded into me, and I was gulping and laughing and crying all at once as silver sparkly lights exploded in front of my eyes and inside my belly. Bill thrust hard with a snarl like some wild thing, and drove his fangs into my shoulder, tearing my flesh and sucking like he was drawing in my soul. He thrust down into me one last time and I felt him convulse and come, just as I reached my own darkly rolling wave of ecstasy. We collapsed forward on the ground, panting like we'd been in a raging fight. Bill rolled off to land beside me and— was this even possible?—his chest was heaving like he'd run miles. I was awash in contentment as I studied his face, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. "You look like an angel," I murmured. Bill chuckled then, a sound I'd rarely heard come from him, a sound I adored. He had blood drying on his lip and chin, on his shoulder, and yes, on the inside of his thigh. I could feel blood crusting my shoulder. I wondered if vampires could bruise. I leaned in to lick his mouth clean, his chin—his stubbly beard was sandpapery—and he took me into his arms with incredible tenderness, pulling me against his body like he'd never let me go, holding me like I was a fragile child; and I was: his child.

I tilted my head back enough to look in his luminous eyes. "I'm not all that hungry right now," I said. And my vampire, my father and lover threw back his head and laughed.


	3. Chapter 3

The next night, Bill took me hunting.

I'd found a dress in his closet—appropriately for my virgin feeding, it was white eyelet with a short, girly skirt that swirled around my legs—and in the top drawer of the dresser, a pair of white lace panties. He had thrown out none of my things, exactly like he knew I would return; damn him for being so right. I giggled at the thought of damning a vampire and pulled the dress over my head. I was happy as I ran downstairs, eager for my first lesson.

We walked toward town, holding hands. I never knew the night could smell so good. It was warm and moist and ripe and… waiting. Just ahead, I heard footsteps and tightened my fingers around Bill's. "So soon?" I breathed. Bill replied, "Let's see," and swept me forward with that crazy invisible vampire speed. I really couldn't wait to try that for myself.

We slowed down to approach a man, practically a boy, although he might have been Jason's age. He looked young and scared at our appearance. From feet away, I could smell on him the girl he'd just been with. I was glad I didn't know him.

Bill spoke to me softly, underneath the boy's hearing. "This will be like using your telepathy; you should be a natural at this. Tell him what you want and your glamour will do the rest."

"Hey," I spoke soothingly to the boy. "Hey," he said back, his eyes flicking away from my face, but I reached out to hold his wrist and his eyes flew back to mine, startled. (I had forgotten I would feel cool to him; he felt wonderfully warm to me.)

My mind slid into his head effortlessly and found his recent memories of being with the girl he was falling in love with. She was plain and soft, but he obviously liked her a lot. I played back to him his loving her body, the nice way she felt to him—I expected to be shocked by the ick factor, but instead, I felt excited, like I could feel his love and his passion for this shy, passive girl. As his memories of making love to her streamed through his mind, he became utterly still. I need to see your neck, I thought at him, and to my surprise and pleasure, he pulled his shirt collar aside and raised his chin. I could see the vein pulsing right under his skin. As if from very far away, I heard Bill hiss in anticipation, and felt him in my head, saying, "Drink, Sookie. Do it now."

I stepped up to the boy and without holding him, grabbed his jugular in my avid mouth; my fangs ran out through his skin and I drew on him. My mouth flooded with his blood. He tasted a bit like drinking hot liquid spoons and I almost pulled away. But my hunger kicked in with slamming force and I sucked on him so hard I almost toppled him over. His life force poured into me, and I felt intensely grateful to him, and maybe even a tiny bit in love with him. But I had no desire to touch him or hold him, any more than I would one of Gran's deep fried chicken legs.

As I drank, Bill stood behind me, holding back my hair. He had always loved playing with my hair, and it had made me feel pampered when he would brush it and braid it for me. I hoped he might do that later. Maybe I should have him braid my hair each night before I fed so it wouldn't get bloody…

As my attention wandered, I felt the boy's legs quaking and I lifted my mouth from his neck. I turned my head so Bill could kiss the boy's blood from my lips. I felt a lot better, but my mind was struggling to wrap around this new way of being.

"Release him, Sookie," Bill reminded me.

"Oh yeah," I said absently. I stared into the boy's eyes and pulled my influence out of him with a snap. The boy staggered and Bill reached out to steady him. He looked at the boy intently, and I knew he was erasing the memory of us from the boy's frightened mind. I watched my first dazed victim walk away and ran my tongue around the inside of my mouth. Metallic. My fangs folded back with the sound two pieces of paper make shuffling apart.

"Golly, they sure don't taste like you, "I said amazed.

"Now do you see what I was telling you? How good you have always tasted to me?" I nodded slowly, but I could see something I had been missing—did I have to become a vamp to see it?—I WAS different. I had been different all along. Not crazy-different, as I had thought for so long, but divine-different. Bill had spotted it in me from the moment he'd met me, and it was the thing that made him love me. I thanked god for that.

Bill held my gaze, his face hardening a little. Uh-oh, I thought, and a small smile flicked across Bill's face as he heard it inside his head. "Vampires don't say 'Uh-oh"" he quoted me.

Then he looked at me seriously. "You must be kind to your victims, Sookie. They are feeding you. You need them. If you want to fit in"—now he was really sounding like me—"you must enter their minds slowly and leave just as slowly, or you will frighten them and turn them against us."

"I'm sorry, Bill. I'll do better next time."

"I know you will. It is time to go."

"Don't you need to feed too?"

"No, I am fine for tonight. Perhaps tomorrow… if you are a good student… there will be time."

I felt terrible for being so selfish, leaving my love hungry so that he could teach me. With my regret, a flood of exhaustion took me.

"I feel so tired. Why are my legs shaking?"

"Dawn is coming. We must sleep."

"But you don't feel like this?" He didn't look tired at all.

"I did at one time. I don't so much anymore. But we always feel the sun coming and we know it is time to go to ground." Bill lifted me up in his arms—he had always loved to carry me—and began walking back toward his house. "No," I whispered at his ear—again with astonishment that he could hear me—"I want to go home." Bill stopped to study my face, then gave the faintest of nods and turned through the woods. He had made a hidey-hole for himself in one of my closets, and that is where he took me. But I could hear his thoughts: he was reluctant to leave me and seek his own rest apart.

I climbed down into the hole for the first time ever and looked up at him towering above me. His expression was so tender that I quaked. "Kiss me good night?—or… I guess, good morning?" and was rewarded with one of Bill's sweet smiles. He gently lowered himself down beside me—there was just room for us both to fit with our arms around each other. I turned my face up to him and he bent very slowly to my waiting mouth.

Bill's cool lips closed softly around my upper lip, then just as softly around my lower lip. He pulled back the teensiest smidge and brushed his lips across mine, left, right, and back again. Then he paused, our mouths only barely apart, and I could feel him… what? Inhale (vampires don't breathe… )? Smell me?

I was exhausted by the coming of the sun, but I could also feel something else coming. I didn't know how much time we had, but I intended to make the best of it. Without any effort at all, I climbed up his slender, gorgeous body and wrapped my legs around his waist. He put his hands under my butt, supporting me like I weighed nothing—and I guess, to him, I did. I put my mouth on his, nibbling him, feeling his tongue just barely part my lips. My fangs ran out a little, and Bill touched each one with his tongue, exploring them, licking them—they were, after all, his creation. I gently pushed his tongue back so I could explore for myself, and I felt his fangs run out against my tongue, sharp and smooth and very, very dangerous. I shivered (I never had to fear his fangs again, but I had always sort of enjoyed being a little afraid of him, since I also knew I could trust him completely; I decided it was a feeling I'd hang onto for the fun of it.).

I felt one of Bill's hands move to unbuckle his belt and unzip his jeans, and I murmured into his mouth, "Are you ready?" "Oh yes," he rumbled from deep in his throat, "are you ready for me?"

"Why don't you see?" I invited. With the hand that wasn't supporting me, Bill slid his hand up my thigh and under the lace of my panties. When his fingertips found my opening, he gasped—not only was I ready, I was practically dripping wet for him.

Bill pressed me back against the wall of the hidey-hole, pulled my panties down in front—they were going to be ruined—giving him just enough room to slip inside me, which he did with teeth-clenching slowness. It seemed like he was concentrating on memorizing every smidgen of me. I could see a muscle in his jaw jump as he focused on controlling himself. I felt, rather than heard the smallest growl in his throat. I was totally impaled on his hardness, and I was more excited and more tired than I'd ever been.

I laid my face against his smooth white neck and sighed, "Bill, I feel the sun." He nodded, withdrew from me completely, and the world went absolutely black as I fell into the sleep of the dead.


	4. Chapter 4

I roared awake like I was flying up a long, curving tunnel into the night, gulping for air like I actually needed it in my lungs, a howl mounting on my lips, ready to shatter the moonlight. But before I could get it out, softly clinging lips covered mine and a gently probing tongue found its way into my mouth. Bill murmured into my mouth, "I'm here, sweetheart. You are not alone."

I couldn't quite figure out where we were, but Bill was lying beside me, pressed close. I could just lift my leg over his waist, and without any preamble, he slid into me. I gave the tiniest moan of appreciation—this had to be the best alarm clock I'd ever had—and rocked my hips into him. We had just enough room to move almost completely apart, which we did, ever so slowly, so we wouldn't bang into the walls—we seemed to be in a wooden box of some kind, and then I remembered: Bill had put a box under the floor of the closet in my house, so if he went to ground there, he had a small, clean space in which to sleep. It wasn't entirely comfortable, but it was light proof and secure.

I began kissing him again, copying the slow, steady rhythm of his strokes, imitating him with my tongue. His fangs were out for me, and I scraped my tongue across them, bleeding a little into his mouth. He made a yummy-yummy noise and his rolling hips began speeding up. I pressed my hands against his hip bones, telling him from inside my head that slow was good—maddening, but good—and he relaxed back into a steady, pulsing stroke that made my breath (if I had any) catch in my throat.

I squeezed my arms up between us to wrap behind his head, sinking my fingers in his thick, silky hair, tugging a little because it made him wince. I worked my arms down his back, scraping my nails along his flawless skin, and again he flinched. Just as he pulled back on an exit stroke, I dug my fingers hard into his muscular butt and he jumped forward into me with a yelp, inadvertently biting my tongue and filling his mouth with my blood. A trickle came back into me and I tasted Bill tasting me tasting him. It set me on fire.

I began tilting my hips to his in earnest now. My own desire for him was threatening to take over my sanity, and in this small space, I didn't have room to go berserk. But I started sliding on him like I remembered from childhood pony rides, bouncing a little at the end of each stroke to force him in one more tiny bit. His pelvic bone pressed me at precisely the right spot.

The pressure in my belly was like coal being crushed into diamonds. Every outward stroke of Bill's tugged the skin around my quivering little nub and I was panting against Bill's neck. As he felt my rising tide of lust and love about to wash over us, Bill opened his mouth on my neck. His fangs broke skin, and all those shiny diamonds tumbled out of me, lighting up the dark with colored jumbles of sparks. Bill sucked hard on the wound, thrust deep in me and came so hard I thought I felt it up around my heart.

As we both relaxed apart, but still connected in the narrowness of the space, Bill smoothed my hair back from my face and asked, "How did you sleep, darling?"

"Like the dead, "I joked, just to see him smile. I tried to stretch, and said, "I'm hungry."

"Okay," said my vampire, "I'll take you out."

I brushed his lips with mine. "Mmmmm, I'd like that. Can we have a shower first?"

I could see Bill's eyes flame. "A shower?" his eyebrows went up—Bill knew what always happened in the shower. It turned out we both loved water play better than almost anything. The closest he ever came to teasing me was when he knew I was hurrying to work and he offered to scrub my back, knowing that was a guarantee I'd be late.

"Umhum. A long… hot… shower."

Before I could blink, Bill had slithered from the box, knocked back the trapdoor that was the floor of the closet, and was standing at the top of the hidey-hole reaching down to help me up. I no longer needed that help, but it was a sweet old-fashioned gentlemanly thing for him to do, so I grasped his hand. It seemed Bill barely pulled, but I flew up and into his arms, the impact rocking him off balance a bit. I grinned at him and gave him a little shove. "You oaf!"

He bumped me with his chest like football fans do—somehow that gesture was too modern for my Civil War lieutenant—"Fairy!" he shot back.

This was a reference to my fae family, and I loved that he was playing with me, but just that one word brought back a rush of sadness so heavy and harsh that tears sprang into my eyes.

"Sookie?" Bill was all tenderness. "What is it?"

"Something happened. Something awful."

"This is the sadness that brought me to you in the cemetery. I felt this in you that night, Why were you there?"

"I think I was hoping to see you. I missed you so much."

He folded me in his cool, strong arms and I spoke into his chest. "Some days, when I missed our love, I would sit by your gravestone. It made me feel closer to you."

Bill kissed the top of my head, "Oh Sookie," he said into my hair, "I am so, so sorry. All the pain I caused you. I have hurt you beyond reason."

Now I was crying in earnest. "Thank you. I never let you tell me that, but I always wanted to hear it. I'm sorry too—sorry for my… pride, "I choked on the word. "Sorry my damnable pride wouldn't let me turn to you when I so wanted to."

"I know."

Some of my old fury at Bill sprung up unbidden like a bad habit. "You… KNEW?"

"Sookie." Bill held my eyes with his, the way he always did when he wanted to be sure I was really listening to him. His fingers gently smoothed away my tears. "I had your blood. You had mine. I could feel you. Can you deny you felt me?"

I knew I had. "I didn't want to feel you. I wouldn't let myself feel you. But yes, I always did. You were always there, in the background of all my days and nights. It was sort of like a twin heartbeat."

Bill's brows went up in that skeptical look I'd seen so often—we had a long history of finding each other hard to believe. "A heartbeat?"

"Yes," I said simply. "I don't know what else to call it. It was like your heart was beating inside me, and it comforted me even when I pushed you away."

"For that, I am glad," Bill said.

"So," I said, following a niggling thought, "you knew? You knew I'd come back to you?"

"Well, I hoped you would. But I know how stubborn you are. I knew if I told you that I could feel your love, it would drive you further away. So I waited. And hoped. And never stopped wanting you with me. Sophie-Anne's order became my sincerest desire."

Bill was referring to the Queen of Louisiana's demand that he ingratiate himself to me, to coerce me into her service, where my talent could protect her and help her gain power over her enemies. She had died without binding me to her, but I had thought Bill's love was false, a ploy to make me hers, when I had only wanted to be his.

With a jolt of understanding, I saw I had ultimately won. I was Bill's, totally and completely and for all time. He had made me vampire and we would always be together. Without even knowing it, Sophie-Anne had also given me my heart's desire.

I looked at Bill and saw that he could hear my thoughts as plainly as if I'd spoken them. His pupils dilated until his eyes were completely black and his love shone out of them like a beacon that would steer me to safety. Wordlessly, I told him that I finally understood. Wordlessly, I told him that I cherished him beyond sense, that I would do anything for him, that I would die for him as he had often said he would for me. I had never felt these things before, and I had thought I was incapable of feeling these things.

But Bill shook his head, his dark hair falling over his eyes. "I knew that too."

With lightning fast speed, I grabbed a shoe off the floor and hurled it at him. He avoided it easily, and chuckled, before enfolding me again in his arms.

"But what is your terrible sadness?"

I sighed, then smiled up at him. "I will tell you, I promise. But not now. Let's go eat."


	5. Chapter 5

Bill's gorgeous mouth was clamped on the neck of his victim. She was thin and pale, with oily hair. She had been feeling rebellious toward her boyfriend, so she had gone out alone for a walk. It would be a walk to remember. Although I guess she wasn't actually going to be able to remember much of it.

With my newly-acquired vampire hearing, I could pick up on Bill drawing in the blood and swallowing—it sounded a little like he was sucking on a margarita lime—can you tell I used to be a barmaid? I stepped right up close and studied his perfect line of attack; he'd somehow gotten the girl to bend her neck to such an angle that he barely had to bow his head to her. I reached in with one finger and traced his lips where they met her neck in complete, blood-tight suction.

Bill's eyes flew open and sought mine—I could see in them the surprise that I had done such a thing. Now that he could sense my innermost feelings—after all, he'd had all my blood—he had known that I was not looking forward to this experience. When I was human, I had never watched Bill feed. I didn't want to. I had even had the gumption once to ask him to not feed on anyone I knew or might interact with at Merlotte's and bless his heart, he'd agreed. I was learning that he had made a lot of concessions to me, simply because he loved me.

I had only recently realized that Bill Compton, war hero (that's the Civil War), computer geek, male model gorgeous, accomplished business man, and vampire, had chosen me out of everyone he'd met in his 170+ years on this planet to be his soulmate. I know some people would freak out, but it made me feel like a goddess. Bill had been my first lover—he had taught me how to kiss, how to please him and how to enjoy being pleased—and boy did he ever please me! He had given me his virginity by making me a vampire, something he had never done before. (I had gathered from the bits and pieces he'd told me that his own making hadn't been fun. And apparently his maker was a complete and total bitch—she certainly tried to kill me when we'd only just met. But all that was a story for another time.) I had given Bill my virginity and he had given me eternal life.

Bill was staring at me questioningly, but continued to drink. I leaned over top of his victim and kissed him on the forehead. I'm not sure I was enjoying this, but I wanted him to know it wasn't nearly as icky as I thought it would be. I mean, Bill bit me all the time, and had bitten me for years, and I had always really—really—liked it. But this was different: calm, tidy, to normal hearing noiseless, almost peaceful. I was looking forward to learning more about glamour and how to use it to make my own victims forget my using them. I understood that, as a new vamp, I needed their blood, and Bill was helping me learn that my aim was to make that as pleasant for them as possible.

Thinking about the pleasure of biting reminded me that we had left my house, where we had awakened, without getting the shower I asked for. I had always loved taking showers and Bill had a huge two-person shower in his family home out the parish road. I had spent some happy times in that shower already, and I was looking forward to doing so again more than I can say. It was beginning to dawn on me—now I just need to stop here and say that Bill had once tried to explain to me that vampires loved puns; his boss Eric's bar was named Fangtasia, for silly's sake! But I was discovering a new found interest in puns myself, and they sprung to mind without even trying. I'd have to ask Bill about this later… Anyway, it WAS beginning to dawn on me why Bill had loved his hot showers and baths: vampires are by nature cool. With no heartbeat or metabolism, at least not in the human sense, we made no body heat. Although Bill and I could generate a lot of heat on our own…

Thinking about showering with Bill made me impatient to get home and I did something I never should have done. I stepped right up against Bill, pulled him off his victim, tearing her neck a little in the process, and dipped my mouth down to taste her for myself.

I felt, rather than heard, Bill's astonished hiss and then that hiss became a very dangerous sound indeed.

I lifted my head to look at Bill and his entire body was bristled like a rabid dog. The look on his face was the purest form of ice-cold anger and his mouth was clamped into a line of steel. His chest was heaving and his fists were balled up to strike, and rage rolled off him like a hurricane. The force of his mind hit me so hard I stumbled back.

I had seen Bill angry before; I had seen him kill and it had not been pretty. And at times he certainly had been angry with me. But this was different. This was dangerous. I knew that new vampires were stronger than humans, but not strong compared to older vamps. I knew that Bill could kill me. And I knew he was considering it. I made myself as small as I could and thought at him with all the clarity I could summon: Bill! It's me! It's your Sookie! Bill, please, I am so sorry. I was stupid. I was jealous and I wanted your attention. I'll never do that again. I promise. Bill? Forgive me, honey, please?

As he took in my abject apology, I saw his body relax and soften, and he sighed in an exasperated way. He shook his head, and turned to the poor girl who'd been suspended in his glamour all this time. He stared at her intently for a few seconds and she suddenly saw him, squeaked, and walked away fast.

Bill stepped up to me until his muscled chest was pressing my bountiful breasts, but I wasn't turned on by that right now.

Bill held my face between his cool hands and kissed me with tenderness and soul-shattering depth. It wasn't sexy so much as "I love you forever," and I got the message loud and clear. Bill looked in my eyes, holding my gaze until I had to blink.

Bill whispered, "Sookie? Don't ever do that again."

I shook my head silently.

"Sookie, I am serious. Interrupting a feeding vampire is asking for trouble. I know you and I won't harm you, but any other vampire would hurt you badly or kill you, simply because you acted like an ignorant child."

I flinched at being called that and my eyes welled with tears.

"My darling," Bill spoke with heart-breaking tenderness. "You are a vampire now. There are customs and laws you do not know. I will teach you, but you must be careful. Your impulsiveness put you in the hospital many times when you were human"—here he paused and looked deep in my eyes—he could see rebellious thoughts: that he might have contributed just a bit to my being there a few times—bubbling up, and he wanted to be sure I heard what he said.

"Sookie," he said with great quietude, "one of the things that made me love you is your immense vitality. You have always been more alive than I ever was when I was human. You grab life and gobble it down in great big gulps. I have never known anyone with your spirit, although I saw some of that in your grandmother."

The thought of Gran made me hold very still.

Bill continued in his soft, dark voice, "There is a part of me that has always wondered that you could love me. I am not… I have never… it has been a long, long while since I ran and laughed and had 'a good time.'

"Maybe being a vampire has suited me better than I might have realized; maybe being alone comes more naturally to me.

"Once I met you, from that very first night at Merlotte's, I missed being human. I thought if I was human, you might want to spend time with me. This idea came as a shock to me. And then, you did want to spend time with me. You accepted who I was and you loved who I was. For the first time in a very long time, I believed I was worth loving as long as you loved me.

"Then when you found out about… what I had to do… and I thought I had lost your love, I was filled with despair. I could understand why some of us chose to meet the sun."

Hearing this, I buried my face in Bill's chest, tears springing to my eyes. He put his long, white fingers under my chin, making me look at him. He wanted to make sure I was listening, but I knew if I lived to be a thousand, I would never forget what he was saying.

"After a while, I thought if I was patient, you might turn to me again—maybe not in exactly the same way—but at least not with anger or hate. Sometimes, I was sure I could feel your love in our blood bond, and I let myself hope.

"When I found you in the cemetery, when you accepted my comfort, I felt so… large. I felt like I could do anything. I wanted to swim in you and never surface. And when you told me you had never stopped loving me, I wanted to slip inside your gorgeous skin and wear you like the warmest sweater on the coldest day. I wanted to drink you. I wanted to fuck you until you fainted or I fainted or we both fainted.

"You asked me to turn you and I have never been more frightened of anything, ever. I wasn't sure I knew how and I couldn't stand the idea that I might harm you. But I wanted you with me forever. I wanted your laughter. I wanted your heavenly taste. I wanted to drown in your golden hair.

"And now you are with me. I am the luckiest of god's creatures. I love you more than music, or knowledge, or blood, or life. You are my sunlight."

"Oh Bill," I was overwhelmed by him.

"Sweetheart, I can't lose you again. You must listen to me and pay attention. You must be more careful."

"I will, Bill, but…"

"'But,' Sookie? But?"

I swallowed. "No buts. I'll behave."

Bill buried his fingers in my hair, gently pulling back my face to his kiss. His soul was in that kiss and I inhaled his fabulous scent and ran my hands up and down his fabulous back and dug my fingers in his fabulous butt. Bill drew back and said, "We never got that shower."

"Bill!" I smiled with happiness. "I was just thinking that! The thought of being with you under all that hot water was what made me misbehave!"

My vampire actually grinned at me—something he had only done a couple of times—and whispered, "I know."

"You!" I made as if to smack him and he caught my wrist and twirled me around to sweep me up in his arms. "Let me take you home, " said my vampire. "I can get us there fast."

I leaned my head against his. "Mmmm." And then I thought of something.

"Bill? I want to be home with you in the worst way. But will you show me something first?"

"Darling, "Bill said in his low, husky voice, "There are so many things I want to show you." And he put my hand on him to show me something large. And getting larger.

"Oh Bill, not that" —his eyebrows raised in surprise—"I mean, yes that, but first, will you show me how you go so fast? I've wanted to try that for the longest time."

A rumble of laughter vibrated Bill's chest against me and he set me down. His eyes were shining with anticipation; I think he was enjoying being my teacher. He looked around him and said, "We are going to need more room."


	6. Chapter 6

Later that night, we were down along the water, close to the place I had first had Bill's blood; I had been attacked and Bill had given me his blood to heal me. (He had made so many sacrifices for me. Why had I never seen that before?) Bill brought me here because I wanted to practice moving with vampire speed. He said we'd need lots of room, in case I had a hard time learning to stop. "Bill," I said in disgust, "I know how to run."

"But you don't know how to run like this," and in less than a blink, Bill was a football field length away from me. His voice in my head said, "Come to me," and like an invisible rope yanked me hard, I flew across the ground, and—dammit, he was right—I couldn't stop. I slammed into him with thunderous force and we crashed to the ground. I rolled away from Bill and started giggling like a maniac. "That was FUN!" I hooted.

Bill did not look at all like he was having fun. In exasperation, he reached over and flipped down my skirt, where it had flown up to show my blue lace panties (Bill seemed to destroy my underthings with fair frequency; he had bought these for me as a replacement for a pair of white ones that had recently, um… gone to meet their maker.) I giggled again, and flipped my skirt back up to my waist.

I stretched my arms above me and felt my flat stomach draw up taut, as I twisted my hips and legs toward Bill, rolling like a cat. He was just so much fun to tease: he was always serious and earnest. It was easier to tease him now that I wasn't afraid of him at all. I enjoyed watching his gaze wander up my legs, his eyes lighting up as he took in the lace, and possibly what was underneath. I felt that look like a laser between my legs, and bounced to my feet like a star athlete.

"Let's try that again," I begged, holding my hand out to him. He grasped it and I sprang what I thought might be a few yards. Seems I misjudged and we landed right on the edge of the water, Bill's feet firmly on the grass, but mine… not so much. Bill tried to shake free as I tipped backwards—what a gentleman!—but I held him tight and pulled him in on top of me with a gigantic splash.

"Sookie!" Bill spluttered as he stood up, shaking water off him like a dog in a downpour.

"Yes, my darling love?" I smiled innocently, my hair plastered across my face.

"I am soaking wet!" I swayed against Bill and said in my most innocent voice, "Oh my, so you are; how on earth did that happen?"

I watched as irritation, amusement, and love fought for possession of Bill's lovely face, and I stretched up on my toes to lick water off his chin and push his hair off his brow. Bill captured my mouth in his and I laughed into him, but my fangs ran out all the same. I flung my arms around his neck, unbalancing us again, and we tumbled back into the water, which was warm from a day in the summer sun. Now that he was already wet, Bill didn't seem to mind so much being there. He floundered up to me and kissed me. I sighed happily. He kissed my eyes closed, brushed his cool, ardent mouth across mine, and moved to take my earlobe between his lips. That made me gasp, as he knew it would. I rubbed my fingertips along his wet shirt, that clung to his chest muscles and revealed his hard nipples. I scooted down in the water, biting through the cloth, which instantly darkened with his blood.

"There goes another shirt," Bill sighed, but he didn't sound at all angry.

With a speed I would not have thought possible given how wet my skin was and how even wetter my panties were, Bill reached under my dress and whipped off the new blue lace, twirling them around his finger in front of my face. "Well, at least these won't get ruined," he said with a raised eyebrow. That sounded like a challenge to me.

"Wanna bet?" I snatched them from him, pushing him down in the water, tying my panties around his wrists so fast he couldn't avoid me. They were stretchy and so wet that he could not snap them—or maybe he could, but didn't want to? Either way, his eyes flamed with desire and delight, as he struggled to free his hands. I stood up and looked down at him almost floating there in the glistening midnight water, and I straddled him and stood over his face. Suddenly, as he looked up my legs and under my dress, he seemed to be struggling to free his hands for real. Very slowly, I knelt down in the water over his face, my dress hem completely covering his head. Good thing vamps don't need to breathe, I had time to think before Bill took his first lick, then I couldn't think anymore.

I supported myself up off him—I wanted him to be able to move his head freely—but as his clever tongue dipped in me and out to flick across my swollen nub, that was harder to do than I had planned. I leaned back just a little to feel for his zipper, but his jeans were so wet I couldn't pull it down. Wet denim? What was I thinking? Somehow my little game was backfiring on me as Bill's hard, pointed tongue dove into me. I made a noise of frustration and longing, and to my complete amazement, his zipper slid down and I grinned in triumph.

I swooshed down the length of Bill's body, making the water slosh around us in waves, grabbing the waist of his pants and inching them down—they were glued to his muscular legs like wallpaper, and with his hands still bound by my panties, he wasn't much help. In my impatience, I began to nip his thighs as I worked on the jeans, finding I could roll them down like removing a stocking.

It seemed to take forever to free his cock from his jeans, but he was enjoying my struggle; he had a small smile on his lips as he raised his hips up out of the water to help me. At that moment, I wasn't so sure I liked that he could read me so easily. But finally he was revealed in all his glowing vampiric glory and I took him in my hand and my mouth at the same time. Bill moaned and… sank. I jumped up sputtering from water up my nose, but that was just a habit. As I knelt in the water, flipping my hair back from my face, Bill grabbed my arm in his bound hands and rolled me under him. My dress floated up and away from my legs and I opened them to his expected assault.

Which did not happen.

I sought his face, my own question plain on mine. He smiled at me as he began to bump around down there, purposefully tormenting me with his feigned ineptness. "Bill!" I cried, only to see those expressive eyebrows curve upward in mock puzzlement. "You want something, ma'am?" he drawled in his most southern accent. I replied through clenched teeth, "I think you know what I want," only to be shown his bound wrists, which he waggled in front of my face.

"Oh hell," I said and tore my new blue panties apart. "Mister, you'd better be prepared to replace those," I growled. I felt Bill's fingers open me and guide himself in. I gasped, then mewed, then showed him my fangs.

"Oh yes, ma'am," said my gorgeous vampire, "I always do."


	7. Chapter 7

Our clothes were still wet when we got back to Bill's house.

We stood on the carpet in what I had come to call his plant room, a large room that used to be a bathroom plus most of the kitchen in the original house. Since Bill no longer ate—come to think of it, neither did I—and didn't need a toilet, he had renovated the space to be full of plants, with a huge tub spa and a shower that was big enough for two people. Seemed he liked to soak in hot water, and I had learned this was true of a lot of vamps. Me, I'd always loved showers.

Now that our night's activities were over, my clothes were clammy and I shivered in them. Bill started the shower full blast to get the water hot, and turned to me to help peel off my soggy dress (he had already removed, and destroyed, my panties during our evening adventures). I toed off my muddy shoes. Bill had somehow wrestled back into his waterlogged jeans to bring us home, and I knelt down to roll them off. I pressed my lips to his cool thigh, and my teeth chattered. I was a little surprised I could feel cold.

Bill stepped into the steamy water, drawing me in after, and pulled me to him under the pounding hot spray; it was pure heaven. I ducked my head under to re-soak my hair while Bill reached for the shampoo—it made me go all gooey to see he still had my favorite orange ginger shampoo, even though I had not been in this shower for a long time. He noticed my noticing and said, "Some days, I enjoyed smelling like you." For a vamp, he sure was a big ol' softie.

"Turn around. I'll wash your hair," Bill said. He massaged the citrusy lather through my hair, working it carefully down through the ends to prevent more tangles. (Since it was his job to comb out the tangles—even though he loved brushing my hair—he didn't want to make any more.) As the shampoo foamed down my back, he rubbed around my shoulder blades and down around my waist. He pulled me to him, reached around and cupped my breasts with his still-slippery hands. I barely had time to start enjoying that before his hands moved down my stomach and back up my sides.

I was definitely warming up.

I ducked under the spray to rinse off my hair, loving the feel of hot water streaming down my back. Bill took up the soap and lathered his hands until he had a mound of foam, then squatted down on one knee; "Foot please, " he beckoned.

I put my foot in his sudsy hands, and he worked his long fingers in between each toe, massaging the bottom of my foot, rubbing up and down my calf and paying extra attention to behind my knee. "Rinse," he commanded. I complied.

"Other foot." I promptly lifted my foot to the same ministrations, but this time he rinsed the suds off for me and bent down to lick very slowly and thoroughly between each of my toes, probing with a hard, pointed tongue. When he sucked on my baby toe, I made a tiny peep of a sound that made Bill look up at me.

"Oh dear," Bill observed. "You seem to have some mud and grass on your thighs." I didn't see any, but I nodded anyway, and Bill took up the soap again. He watched me as he worked up a large lather.

Bill's slippery hands grabbed my knees, rubbing upwards, kneading my thigh muscles. All those long nights at Merlotte's spent walking, bending, and lifting had made my naturally shapely legs smoothly muscular. Bill made a rumble of appreciation low in his throat, slipped one hand all the way up my thigh to catch between my legs and tug my curly blond hair there.

I gasped out loud and Bill said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pinch you." He was learning to tease me because he knew it made me crazy for him. He stood up. "You seem to be… dirty… there," Bill said in his deepest, darkest voice, and he pushed lather between my legs, exploring with his long, agile fingers. I had to admit, this was my favorite way to get clean. Against my hip, I could feel part of Bill that was warming to the task as well.

As reluctant as I was to stop his motions, I pressed against him and grabbed the soap, making my own bubbly pile of lather. I started at the top of his broad shoulders, rubbed down his arms and back up, then across his darkly haired chest, pausing to gently pinch his nipples. Before Bill, I had not known that men enjoyed that sensation, but I had learned it was one of Bill's favorites, and he always rewarded me with a moan.

I moved my soapy hands down his flat belly and out to his hip bones and down again to almost encircle him… then back up across his stomach again. He sighed his anticipation, and I made him wait while I soaped my hands again.

I returned to my task, rubbing the length of his expanding shaft, paying particular attention to the underside and the accompanying dangly bits. Bill parted his legs and rocked his hips forward so I could reach him better. What a helpful fellow he was!

Bill lowered his head and spoke against my hair, "Sookie, you are torturing me on purpose."

"Why no, Bill, I just don't want you to be… dirty, either," I taunted him. I pulled him fully under the water and pressed my body tightly to his, standing up on my tiptoes then bending my knees to rub myself up and down his slippery pale skin. He made another low moan and his arms tightened around me. I lifted my face up just as he brought his mouth down hard on mine. For a second, I thought he was trying to eat my bottom lip, before he moved on to suck my tongue in his mouth. How was it that his mouth could feel so cool and so hot at the same time?

Still kissing me, Bill reached back to turn off the water. He barely moved his mouth from mine, and still holding me tight against him, he walked us both out of the shower. He grabbed a giant fluffy towel and folded us both up in it. His eyes asked, Bed? And mine responded, Floor? And he smiled a little so I could see his fangs run out for me.

Then with great care, he lowered me to the carpet and showed me exactly how dirty we both still were.


	8. Chapter 8

Bill and I had moved from our shower and its delicious aftermath to his big bed. I had been the first to lie in that bed with him (and while there had been another human woman in the bed since me, Bill had told me she had mattered to him very little, and that she had been a sad substitute for me—poor thing, she had mostly been there to make me jealous---which had worked despite my best efforts). I loved Bill's flowered wallpaper and flowered sheets; since we only saw flowers at night, it was nice to have them everywhere.

We were both barefoot, and wrapped up in velvet robes that Bill had kept for us from the time of our first few months together. That was both a blissful and anxious time for me, and in some ways, I wasn't surprised when it all went south. Hurt beyond bearing, yes, but surprised? Not all that much.

Bill had microwaved each of us a bottle of TrueBlood—O Negative, his favorite because that had been my human blood type. He flipped the caps off the warmed bottles, covered each opening with a thumb and gave them a vigorous shake to eliminate hot spots, then held one out to me. I took it tentatively, it being my first bottled blood ever. I drank a sip. It tasted better than I'd thought; actually, it was pretty darned close to the real thing—well, not as good as Bill. Since he was a vamp, he tasted terrific. I clasped my hands around the bottle, frowning down at the contents.

"What is bothering you, sweetheart?" Bill asked as he sat next to me on the bed.

"Hmmm? Oh. It's just that I don't find it all that strange to be sitting here in our bathrobes, drinking synthetic blood from a bottle, like a couple of old married vamps. It should feel a whole lot weirder, shouldn't it?"

"Well," Bill mused thoughtfully, "I certainly dreamed of this, but I never let myself hope you would be mine forever." There was a long, ever so slightly tense pause, and Bill asked in a very quiet voice, "Why ARE we sitting here 'like old married vamps'?"

Here it comes, I thought, forgetting Bill could feel all my feelings, too. But instead of speaking, he pulled me over against him and pressed his mouth to the top of my head.

I chugged my bottle of blood—I might need the energy—and leaned back into the circle of Bill's arms. His closeness filled me with calm and a deep sense of being cherished beyond measure.

"Bill, " I began, "do you remember at the Bellefleur's wedding (I could feel Bill remembering how lovely I'd looked in my bridesmaid dress), there was a man outside Belle Rive? A very elegant, very old, very beautiful man? All the vamps seemed to pay him tribute?"

"Yes," Bill said quietly. "A fairy." Not a question, but a matter of fact.

I nodded against his chest. Whoo boy, this was going to be even harder than I'd thought. "Have you ever wondered about Andre tasting my blood and finding fae influence there?" I was referring to the Queen of Louisiana's second, who had recognized in me something other than human, and had proven his suspicion by tasting me without my permission.

"You certainly felt different to me than any human I have encountered in all my years on earth." Bill reminded me, "I told you the first night I met you that I thought you were something more than human."

"So you did," I was flooded with memories of that first meeting with Bill and all the astonishing things that had happened since—perhaps the most astonishing thing of all was about to pop out of my mouth.

"Well. That man at the wedding, that fairy, is one of the oldest fairies still alive. He is a prince. And I…" I gulped a bit like I actually needed air, "…am his great granddaughter."

I felt Bill go completely still. All vampires had the ability to do this when nothing was happening around them and they needed a little down time. But Bill was wide awake, just… poised. Even though I'd had the fact of my fairy nature forced on me, I myself still found it hard to believe. I could actually feel Bill waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Suddenly, I was in a mad rush to get it all out, and my words tumbled from my mouth with increasing speed.

"His name is Niall. He actually came to the wedding to see me. But he didn't speak to me there.

"Niall contacted me later and we met at a restaurant. He told me about his son Fintan who fell in love with Gran and got her pregnant—apparently human/fae matings don't typically result in children—it seems Fintan loved my grandmother, and she loved him, so much that their love allowed a baby to happen. That baby was my dad—he was half fae, but any talents he might have had were dormant. Although I've learned that my mother's crazy love for him, and even crazier possessiveness" —here I felt Bill's arms around me tighten just a bit; vampires wrote the book on possessiveness—"was a direct effect of his very own form of fae glamour.

"You know how vamps find fairies irresistible?" I felt Bill nod slightly. "Well, my mom found my dad that same irresistible. To the point she actually overlooked me and Jason and the needs we had, in order to devote all her energy and vigilance to my dad. Remember I told you that she tried to protect me when it came to my gift? Well, she didn't really know what to do with me, so she just let me figure it all out on my own. I might not have felt so crazy if I could have confided in her more. But she just wasn't there for us.

"When Mom and Dad died, and Gran took us in, she was so understanding and supportive of my gift—I could talk to her about it and she never acted like I was a freak. Of course, I didn't know she'd had a fae lover, and knew a little something about supes. She might have told me eventually, if she hadn't been… if she hadn't died."

I stopped to catch my breath, not that I actually needed to, but I did need to slow my thoughts. I wished I could see Bill's face and I was glad I couldn't. "Bill. I'm about to tell you something that is going to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you, not any longer, but you need to know this, maybe even for your own protection."

I could feel Bill's surprise in his body and inside my head. To his credit, he merely said. "Sweetheart, you can always tell me anything. I love you."

I turned to him then. His face was tight, but I could feel his tenderness through our blood connection. "Oh Bill, do you remember all those times you told me you loved me and I just didn't get it?"

"Sookie, I remember every minute of being with you. And I remember every minute of being without you."

"I can't quite believe that I thought your love didn't matter. I thought you were dismissing my hurt and anger, like it wasn't important—like I wasn't important—and that your love took precedence over my own feelings. I actually thought you were being selfish when you told me you still loved me."

"I know," Bill said. Now THIS was getting to be a maddening habit of his!

I flared at him, "Well, here is something you don't know: last Christmas, while you were off researching in Russia, a fae man made me pregnant."

Bill didn't move. His white face visibly paled, but I felt no change in his mind. For the first time since he'd turned me, he was a closed book to me. (Note to self: learn how to close off my own mind if I need to… ) Bill's eyes, then his hand, moved to my stomach; his eyes returned to mine, his question absolutely clear.

Here came the waterworks—although I now cried tears of blood. " No. Not anymore. Niall took the baby."

If Bill was surprised before, he was shocked by these words. "But… it hasn't… it's not nine months!" Bill actually wiggled his hand inside my robe to press on my flat tummy.

"Nine months isn't necessary for the fae. Seven is actually more normal."

Bill looked more puzzled. "It couldn't have even been seven months."

I looked at him steadily. Bill reached over to wipe off the pink tears rolling down my face. "Sookie, we are barely seven months past Christmas now. I have been intimately reacquainted with you in the past few nights. Your body is not that of a recently pregnant woman."

"True," I sighed. "Niall took her at five months."

"You said… 'her'?"

I started crying again. "Yes. A girl." I took a deep breath to knock back the tears. "Niall was especially pleased by that. These days, there are many more boys born than girls. And some of the males—like my 'cousin' Claude—don't go with females, so babies are few and far between."

Bill looked sad, then thoughtful. "Why? Why would your great-grandfather do this to you? Surely he would want to protect you and make you happy?"

"I think he did, at first. But then he saw that I wasn't proud of my fae heritage—or maybe I was too proud of my human heritage—he sent me a Christmas gift. A beautiful, fae man called Preston who would not take no for an answer."

I had certainly never seen a vampire goggle before, but Bill's eyes popped. Then narrowed.

Before Bill had a chance to play the jealousy card, I said, "I think Niall wanted me pregnant with a fae baby; I think he thought I would see how silly I was being about my own fae connection. Niall must have thought I would raise a baby to know her own people and become a part of their society—the fae are dying out, and without babies, the race will disappear… I didn't really want to have sex with Preston, but I think I was magicked into it somehow."

"So he… took your baby? He took her at five months? How did he… what exactly happened, Sookie?"

"Niall came to my house—he had been checking on my progress often—I actually thought he cared about ME. Anyway, about two months ago, he came to see me in the late evening. I'd already gone to bed, but I invited him in and asked if he'd come into the bedroom so I could lie down again. I was so tired all the time by then, even though I was barely showing. He sat in the chair by the bed and started asking me questions. He'd asked me a lot of these questions before: how I would care for the baby since I had to work, how would I raise the baby, how would I school the baby, what would I tell people about the baby's origin?

"I had told him before that I didn't know all the answers yet, but that I would figure it all out. I would love this baby and make sure she had a good life. Niall had always seemed a bit dismissive of my answers, but he had never offered any specific advice. This time, he kept after me: would I tell people the baby was fae? I told him I was tired and I couldn't think, but he kept pressing. So finally, to make him go away, I told him that he must be crazy to think I'd set my own child up for failure like that; I knew how terrible it was to grow up so different from everyone around me and that my baby would have a regular life with a mother who loved her. I told him if that answer wasn't good enough, he could just get the hell out of my life."

Bill blew air through his lips—I'd rarely seen him look so flummoxed. He knew before I'd finished speaking that I'd told the Prince of the Fairies to fuck off, and that this was not going to earn me any Brownie points (GAAAA! Those damn puns!!). "I know, Bill, I know I said the wrong thing. You have no idea… how wrong it was. You weren't there."

To his credit, Bill had the grace to look chagrined. I forged on: "Niall's anger toward me was a cosmic force. I thought my house would blow up or implode or vaporize. He raged at me. How dare I deny my fae heritage? How dare I raise this baby as a human? How could I be such a disappointment to him? He did… something. I began to cramp and bleed, and I felt like someone had stuck the most powerful vacuum cleaner in the world up inside of me. I passed out.

"When I came to, Niall was gone and I was no longer pregnant.

"The bed was soaked in blood and amniotic fluid and placenta. I called Jason and he took me to the hospital. I'd lost a lot of blood" —Bill visibly flinched—"but they fixed me up, and I was back at work in a few weeks."

"But I didn't feel any of this happen to you. I felt nothing."

"That was Niall's doing," I said bitterly. "I learned the night Eric took me to meet Niall for the first time that very old, very powerful fairies can block themselves off from being seen, being smelled, being felt; even vampires won't take much notice of Niall unless he wants it."

Bill lowered his head and swung it slowly side to side. With his face tucked in his chest, he whispered, "You said… Eric?"

"That was Niall's doing also—he knows Eric is in charge and has power—Niall would not deal with someone he perceived as an underling. So he had Eric bring me to meet him."

"And where was Eric when you were attacked? Eric didn't do anything? He didn't protect you? Doesn't the King have you under his protection?"

"Eric didn't know this was happening either, Bill. Afterwards, he sent Pam to take care of me." Bill snorted at this idea. "Well, she did try—and she makes me laugh. Plus Eric's blood—and probably yours too—helped me heal faster."

"Sweetheart, I'm finding this all hard to take in."

"Believe me, I know. Just when I thought I'd got this vampire thing down, and then the were thing too, along comes a fairy and blows the whole world open all over again."

"Where is your baby now?"

"Claudine told me once that there was a place the fae can go, but no one else; I assume Niall took her there to be raised as fae."

"Sookie, you have not spoken about how you feel about all this happening."

"Well, Bill," I said heavily. "I'm here with you, aren't I? After Niall's deception and betrayal, you are my only safe place. You are my only chance at happiness."

"I betrayed you, too."

"Mmm. Well. Yes. I suppose. But I understand now that you truly had no choice. And that you didn't know you would fall in love with me."

Bill smiled at those words, then his face grew serious again. "I've made you vampire…"

"I asked you to. I wanted you to. I don't regret…" Bill interrupted me: "Sookie, we must go to see Eric."

"What for?"

"You were attacked and harmed while under his protection and the protection of the King; we won't tolerate this! Even the weres should know."

"Actually, they do." I was thinking about Sam. But I could feel the sun coming and I was worn out with re-living my ordeal. "Bill, to attack the fae would be crazy. It would start a war of such proportions, it could destroy all of us." Bill nodded.

"But I must tell Eric I have turned you. He will be furious." I actually smiled at that idea—Eric and I always seemed to set each other off.

"Oh Bill, this is all happening so fast. Can't we wait?"

"He will be even angrier if he finds out from someone other than me. He may know already."

I started to protest, and bit my lip to stop the words. I'd have to be careful about that—I drew my own blood. Bill leaned in to lick off my lip and smiled into my eyes. "My darling, together we can get through anything. But for tonight," he said in his sweet, dark voice, "let me hold you in my arms while we sleep."

And that sounded like the best idea I'd ever heard.


	9. Chapter 9

We were on our way to Shreveport in Bill's car—Bill had said we had to tell Eric I had been brought over—all new vamps in the US had to be registered, and all vamps entering Eric's territory had to check in with Eric. Bill was playing a CD of Celtic fiddle music. He loved music from all over the world, some of it downright weird.

"Bill, I need to ask you something," I said watching the road roll by, "even though I may not like the answer at all."

Bill reached over to gently squeeze my knee, that simple gesture letting me know I could ask him anything.

"Well, you know how you said that you and Lorena stayed together for a long time? Years and years?"

I felt Bill tense up, but he nodded.

"And you know how Sophie-Anne had Andre and Sigebert and Wybert with her for even longer?"

I felt Bill relax—he knew where this was going now, but he waited for me to speak.

"So, am I going to be able to stay with you? Or will I have to leave?"

I knew from conversations with Pam that most vampires did not stay with their makers. If their makers called them, they had no choice but to respond, but typically vampires did not get along over lengthy periods of time. Eric had told me that when vampires traded blood on a regular basis, they gained a lot of power over each other, and vamps were typically too wary of one another to allow that to happen.

"I don't know the complete answer," Bill said very quietly.

I leaned over to turn the music down and face him. "But you know more than I do. I have no idea what to expect. Will I want to leave you?"

"I don't know," Bill said, his voice thick with emotion.

"Will… will you want me to leave?"

"Never!" Bill practically spat.

I reached over and rubbed Bill's shoulder—it was hard as granite—and traced his clenched jaw with my finger. "Bill, I love you. And I know you love me." As I said this, I could feel Bill's love flowing off him and covering me like the softest, warmest blanket. "But I'm not asking about love. I want to know what will happen: will we drive each other crazy? Will we grow to mistrust each other?"

"I would like to believe we've put that behind us," Bill murmured.

"Bill," I sighed. This was not at all easy—Bill and I had a history of communicating poorly. But I needed to know what I was in for, plus I truly wanted to stay with Bill. "Okay. Pam told me that Eric was very fair with her—he let her go her own way, and only called on her when he needed her help—that he was good (Bill snorted when I used the word 'good' in relation to Eric) about not making a lot of uncomfortable demands.

"But she also said that they had sex a lot at first, and that they stayed together for years before she struck off on her own. And that she was glad when he called her back.

"What I guess I'm asking is: what sort of maker are you, Bill?"

Bill was silent for minutes. I could feel a jumble of thoughts and emotions washing off of him, too tangled to sort out. There was love and irritation and confusion and fear, and all sorts of in-between things, too. I listened to the tires hum on the highway; with my new vampire hearing, I could find musical frequencies where the rubber met the road. I gave Bill the time he needed—I had all the time in the world.

What he said was not what I was expecting.

"My maker did not turn me in love. She picked me because I was 'a gentleman.' She must have known that no matter how my turning hurt me, no matter how much I missed my family and my life, no matter what horrors awaited me as a newly-turned vampire in 19th century America, I would do the right thing."

I wanted so much to ask what the right thing was, but I sensed that Bill had to tell this story in his own way—and he did seem to HAVE to tell me this story (Bill had left me when I was human to answer her call; she wanted to get her greedy little hands on his research project, because she knew it would be a very powerful weapon in the vampire community. She had tortured him to get information about his project, but when he would not give it up, she tried to find out about me, I suppose so she could use me to get to him.

I found Bill. I killed her.)

"You said Pam told you Eric let her go her own way?"

I nodded.

"Lorena was not like Eric. She kept me with her when we irritated each other, and when we enraged each other. She did it simply because she could."

"You told me she fascinated you." I could not keep the hurt entirely out of my voice, and Bill could certainly detect it in my heart.

"Oh yes. Not because she was attractive—although I guess she was in an old-fashioned way—but because her particular talent was overwhelming glamour."

"Our glamour works on each other?" I was surprised.

"Hers did. I learned over time that other vampires did not trust her because of it. And they did not trust me because of her."

I almost laughed at that, "Trust doesn't seem to be a vampire trait in general."

Bill threw me a glare, but he knew I was right.

"Finally I got fed up (I almost giggled at the bad pun—what was happening to my sense of humor?) by not being able to be around my own kind; we had not come out to the world, and did not mix much with humans. There were things I wanted to experience and see and learn about, and she was constantly vigilant lest I stray. We were at each other's throats (I did giggle, then quickly said, "Sorry, please go on.") and I was beginning to think I'd have to kill her to get away.

"My release seemed just as sudden as when she turned me: she found another human 'gentleman' to turn and her thrall dropped from me overnight. I was free for the first time since becoming a vampire."

"It sounds terrible, Bill."

"In some ways, it certainly was. She was very clever, very sexual (a tiny gasp escaped me, and my beloved spared me the recognition of it), and because she took my blood regularly, she became very powerful. There were times when I enjoyed her company and was glad she had turned me. But years of her cruelty and obsession wore me down."

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"You asked what kind of maker I will be—I hope in the story of my own making you can see that I am not like Lorena."

I nodded, and let him feel my appreciation for that fact.

"And I am not like Eric. I am who I am. And I don't know what kind of maker I will be, but I know that I love you more than anything I've ever known. I want to protect you and teach you and learn from you and keep you with me for as long as…" Bill heaved a big sigh and continued, "…for as long as you want to stay. And when you are ready to leave, know that I will not stand in your way."

I sank into my thoughts and let the silence fill the car. I didn't want to leave Bill—just the reverse—I wanted to be with him always. I loved the time we spent together when I was human (well, the part before Lorena tried to steal him from me and the Queen of Louisiana tried to make him use me) and being together with him again filled me with happiness. A lot had happened to me in the couple of years I'd known Bill and one of the few good things that had happened WAS Bill.

Speaking of whom, my vampire's anxiety at my extended silence was filling the car.

Often in my history with Bill, I had said things in haste or just plain wrong-headedness; I did not want to do that now.

"Honey, I am so happy to be with you. I can't imagine a time when I will be unhappy about it."

When Bill spoke, even with my vamp hearing, I could barely pick his words apart from the road noise. "There have been many times when you were unhappy about me."

"True. But, as you have said to me, I am not that human anymore. Just as I first wanted you to kiss me, wanted you to take my virginity (the tenderness flowing off Bill at my words was breathtaking), wanted you to bite me, I wanted you to bring me over.

"I know you love me an awful lot—I can feel it—I want to love you like that. I hope I can. If vampires can pray, I will pray that I can. I want to be with you forever."

For a split second, I thought Bill was driving off the road, then I realized we had reached Fangtasia and Bill was pulling into a parking space. With vampire speed, he reached for me and pulled me right up against him, holding me rib-crushingly tight. He covered my hair and face and shoulders with kisses. I was sure he was going to bite me, and my own blood was surging toward his extraordinary mouth…

… when someone rapped hard on the car window. It was Pam.


	10. Chapter 10

"Eric sent me out to bring you in the back," Pam told us through the glass. We could hear her easily.

She stepped back as Bill flung open his door in exasperation—was he trying to knock her down?—and pulled me out behind him. As I planted my feet on the parking lot, I knew he was agitated: normally, he would have come around the car to open my door for me and offer his hand to help me out. But tonight wasn't normal.

First of all, Pam was wearing an ice blue tuxedo shirt with the cuffs flipped back and dressy white pants. Her perfectly straight, snowy blond hair was loose down her back. These were not Pam's work clothes. If she wasn't working in the bar tonight, why was she here?

And suddenly, I was afraid. Eric knew. He knew I'd been turned, he knew we were coming, and he had asked Pam to… what? Witness him putting a stake through my heart? (I had seen Eric kill a few vamps—he was good at it in lots of different ways.) Hold Bill while Eric killed me? Hold me while Eric killed Bill?

Bill was still holding my hand from pulling me from the car, and I wasn't about to let go. I was surprised my voice didn't shake when I said, "Evening, Pam. You look nice tonight."

"Why Sookie, " Pam almost drawled, "You are positively… glowing."

A number of things happened very, very fast. Bill went into a crouch, hissing. I felt, rather than saw, his fangs run full out. Pam bent her knees, and brought up her hands, tilting her chin back just enough that the streetlights shone off her fangs. My own fangs ran out so fast they popped, and with completely controlled vampire speed, I stepped in between Bill and Pam.

Pam actually looked surprised. Then she burst out laughing and stood up straight. "Oh Sookie, this is rich. This is just too many things." In a gesture so out of character for Pam that I was taken aback, she took my hand and tugged me toward the door. I grabbed Bill's hand again and the three of us walked into the back of the bar.

Pam had to let go of me in order to go through the door, Bill held me back so he could enter first—he was as much on edge as I'd ever seen him. The bar music assaulted me—had it always been this loud?—and I smelled the crush of humans. I also heard them, and for the first time since my turning, I was conscious of my telepathy. It was still with me! I hadn't known if becoming a vampire would change that; in some ways, I might have been hoping it would go away. I reached out to Bill through our blood—I did not want Pam to hear me—Bill! I can hear the humans! I am still a telepath!

What I felt back from Bill was relief and amazement. He must have been wondering what turning would do to my gift, and I understood from him immediately that if I was still of use to Eric and the King of Louisiana, I would most likely be safe. Bill, however, was doubtful that he could feel the same about himself.

Pam preceded us into Eric's office, and stood aside for us to enter. Eric was at his desk, studying some papers, his lion's mane of blond hair falling over his face. He did not look up when we came in, nor did he look up for several excruciating minutes. If vampires could sweat, Bill and I would have been dripping. As it was, we bolstered each other's worry with as much love as we could muster. Which was a lot.

Finally, I couldn't take it any longer. I stepped up to Eric's desk, dropped my elbows down on it to bring my face in range of his vision, and said in my softest voice, "New vampire Sookie Stackhouse reporting to Sheriff Eric Northman."

At first, Eric didn't move, but I could see he wasn't reading the papers. One corner of his mouth barely tweaked up, then his nose crinkled adorably and he gave me the full force of his bright blue eyes. He hit me with every emotion in his vast arsenal: I was struggling to stand up straight under the inundation of pure glee, admiration, jealousy, anger, astonishment, merriment, irritation, puzzlement, and yes, maybe even love that Eric poured forth toward me. It physically rocked me back and Bill stepped in to steady me. Instantly, Eric closed up tighter than a drum and the look he gave Bill was 100 proof rage. It was cold, hard and I felt it through Bill.

"Bill." Eric said flatly. Bill did not respond. All his focus was on watching Eric and keeping track of Pam, who was standing just slightly behind us. "I seem to recall asking you once if you thought you could keep Sookie all to yourself," Eric mused, almost talking to himself. Eric's eyes were cold, and boring into Bill's. Bill did not flinch, nor did he look away.

Eric sighed, and shifted his gaze to me. Following Bill's lead, I held it. Eric continued speaking to Bill, while looking at me, "It seems you have found the way to do just that."

I did not know if my blood bond to Eric still held, but I had to assume it did, because he knew about me already. And I had certainly felt Eric's delight mixed in with all emotions with which he'd greeted me. I threw thoughts at him rapidly, reinforcing them with as much emotional truth as I could summon: Eric, I wanted this; I asked Bill for this. He did not force me—as a matter of fact, he was afraid to do as I asked.

One of Eric's exquisite eyebrows lifted, His chin went up in recognition of my thoughts and he leaned toward me. I got another rush of emotion from him, and mixed in with that: Then this was all your doing?

"Well," I spoke out loud, "not ALL; obviously Bill had to help."

Eric laughed at that, "Sookie, hadn't I told you that you would make a good vampire?"

I gave him a broad, genuine, heartfelt smile, and glanced at Bill. He was obviously puzzled at the partial exchange between me and Eric; just as he figured it out, I said to him by way of explanation, "It's the blood bond I have with Eric. It's still there."

Then I quickly turned back to Eric and told him, "So is my telepathy."

Eric looked shrewd. He was first and foremost a businessman. "How do you know?"

"There are a lot of humans in the bar tonight. Some of them are broadcasters. I can hear their thoughts loud and clear."

I could see—and feel—Eric decide something. He gestured to the chairs and said, "Sit. Both of you. Pam, would you get us a drink?"

Pam only nodded. Eric asked, "Bill? Still O Negative for you?" Bill nodded, once. "Sookie," Eric's voice was a purposeful caress, "What is your… pleasure?"

Just that fast, I knew I was safe. With the relief came an irrepressible urge to tease Eric.

"A shot of you in a glass?" I suggested with a seductive smile.

Pam snickered, Eric raised both eyebrows, and Bill almost choked. "Sookie will have the same," he rasped as if his throat was dried out.

Pam left the room, and Bill and I took chairs side by side, while Eric settled back in his behind the desk. He leaned on his elbows and studied us, but his expression was no longer hard.

"What's done is done," he said, ever the pragmatist. "Sookie, we will need to get you registered with the human government." At this, he pushed the papers he had been looking at when we entered across the desk to me; so he really and truly had known we were coming and what I had become. "Fill those out."

"We can take care of that online," Bill interrupted.

"And return them to me," Eric finished. He hated computers. Bill was a computer geek and Eric was, oh, maybe jealous? He had resented that Sophie-Anne used Bill's computer skills without his knowing. He was just going to have to get over that.

Pam returned with our bottles of TrueBlood, heated, and on a tray with glasses. Eric and Bill accepted theirs in the bottle, but I felt good enough to be curious about trying mine in a glass. The synthetic blood poured thicker than wine and was a lovely dark red with a copper sheen. It went down warm and salty.

Now Eric was truly all business. "Bill, I've been waiting for your report from the Russia trip. I had hoped…"

I interrupted, "Eric, I apologize for my rudeness, but we didn't come just tell you I'm a vamp—and since you obviously knew already and were playing at some kind of game to make us nervous, I'll cut right to the chase. What are you going to do about Niall?"

I heard Bill's faint intake of air, saw Pam's eyes fly to Eric's, and saw something dark flit super fast across Eric's handsome face.

"Sookie, your intoxicating scent must have enthralled me—I could swear I heard you ask me what I was going to DO about something."

"Cut the crap, Eric," I snapped. "I am under your protection by orders of the King—or has my new status changed that?"

Eric had the grace to look mildly chagrined.

"I was attacked. I landed in the hospital (I could almost hear Eric say the word 'Again'). I lost my…" Here I had to stop to compose myself; I would not cry about this right now. "…my baby girl. How, exactly, did this happen?"

Eric knew I was angry. So was he. So was Bill. It was a regular RageFest in Fangtasia.

"And what would you propose, my…" My eyes flashed fire at Eric, and he did not, as was his habit since the lost days he had spent with me while under the witches' spell, call me his lover. "…My Sookie?" he corrected. "That we go to war with the fae? That we start a holocaust that could mark the end for all of us and many, many more besides? Over a human child?"

That did it. I was on my feet and leaning over the desk at him, hitting him with the full force of my anger and my disappointment, and my soul-searing sadness. I spat at him, "She is MY child! And—not that it matters one bit—she is more fae than human!" I drew myself up as tall as I could and let Eric have it: "Or did you not protect me from Niall because you can't? Because you aren't all the mighty warrior you think you are?"

Now that was just wrong. And I knew it. But Eric always had a way of getting up under my fingernails, and I was just not having any of that tonight.

Bill and Pam were watching us face off over the desk, when Bill said in his calmest, most rational voice, "What is so special about this child that Niall would rip it from his great-granddaughter's womb?"

And that was the $64,000 question; it stopped us all in our tracks.


	11. Chapter 11

Bill drove us back to Bon Temps after an exhausting night, meeting with Eric at Fangtasia. Eric said he would talk to the King and see what, if anything we might do about my being attacked by Niall. Since I was also a pack friend to the weres, they might have to be brought in as well.

I just wanted to be home with Bill, to hide in his magnificence, and I was also thinking we deserved some "us" time. I had worn tight fitting jeans and a low v-neck sleeveless sweater to see Eric—I wanted to remind him of my femininity without being too sexy, sort of "I Am Vampire Hear Me Roar!" It seemed to have worked; Eric took my turning a lot calmer than either Bill or I expected. Although I was pretty sure Eric had more to say to me about it all. But now I wanted to be out of my clothes and comfortable at home with my love.

When we got back to Bill's house, I closed the door behind us and pulled off my sweater, standing in front of Bill in my emerald lace bra and my low slung jeans. I stood completely still while Bill's eyes slowly traveled up and down my body, which was softly glowing for him. To return the favor, he shrugged out of his shirt and let me study his broad shoulders and muscled arms, hard from years of working the land before the war. His hair was ruffled up from removing his shirt and I stepped close to smooth it off his sculpted brow. I looked into his deeper than brown eyes, large and liquid with love. He did that thing that had first attracted me to him: his eyes went to my mouth and his lips parted ever so slightly, then his eyes returned to mine—this was a look guaranteed to make me want him, and now it seemed equally guaranteed to run out my fangs.

I leaned up to place my mouth just barely on his—his lips were soft and cool and he moved to circle me in his arms. But I held his wrists gently and insistently against his thighs, and began quietly and slowly exploring his face with my lips. Bill sighed and tipped his face down to me even more, so I could cover his closed eyes with the softest of kisses. I trailed my lips down to his jaw line, nibbling on his beard stubble before leaning closer to exhale in his ear. He shivered slightly and his captured arms jumped to break my grasp—but I held him still.

I pulled back just enough to touch nose tip to nose tip, rubbing mine along either side of his, pressing my breasts against him. Bill sighed again and swayed his entire length against me. I released him then, and stepped back just far enough to unfasten my jeans; I shimmied my hips just a bit, inviting Bill to push off my jeans. He placed his long fingers around my waist and ever so slowly slid them downward, pushing the denim past my satin panties that matched my deep green bra. I could feel Bill's appreciation for the contrast between my newly paling skin and these underthings he'd never seen (I loved shopping at my friend Tara's clothing boutique—she often "saved" things for me until they went on sale so I could afford them. I wondered very briefly how I was going to shop without a paycheck, but the sound of Bill's zipper sliding down snapped me back in the moment.). Bill waggled his hips a tiny bit, in imitation of me, and I would have grinned at him, but his expression was so earnest that I simply mimicked him instead, placing my hands around his waist and sliding them down to push his pants past his knees. Still holding each other's waists, we stepped out of our pants and into each other's arms.

Bill bent down to brush his mouth along my nose and lips and chin, while his hands slipped up my rib cage, sending shivers all over me. He eased his fingers along the underside of my breasts, delicately scratching the lace of my bra. He inserted his fingers in between that lace and me, scraping his nails ever so gently across my attentive nipples. Bill had taught me all about good sex when I was human, and I had done a lot of heavy breathing as I was learning. Panting came so naturally to me, I began to do that even though I no longer needed to breathe. Bill had always seemed to rise to that sound, and he was doing so now. Again, I copied his movements to skim my fingertips up his lean torso, and scratch my nails across his nipples—the outside observer in me noticed he was panting a bit as well.

Bill left off caressing my breasts to move his hands down my belly and again I mirrored his motions. One of his hands slid between my legs to rub me through the satin, and I moved a hand down to explore the silk of his briefs—Bill loved old-fashioned fabrics—and cupped all his naughty bits in my palm, which fast began to fill to overflowing. Even more slowly, if it was possible, Bill's tongue entered my ear, and I could feel my panties dampen between me and Bill's slowly massaging fingers, one of which proceeded to wiggle under the leg opening and slip into me. I made a teensy moan against Bill's collar bone and started licking him. I wiggled my own hand under the elastic of Bill's silk and grasped his hardness tight. Now it was Bill's turn to moan.

Placing both hands on my hips, he walked me backwards until I bumped into the door, but he kept coming until I was pressed between him and the wood. He snapped my panties down around my knees while I returned the favor, and we both stepped out again in perfect synch. With the vampire strength that still amazed me, Bill moved his hands down my thighs to behind my knees and lifted my legs up and around his waist, which I did as naturally as if I'd been doing it for my whole life. He raised me up and onto his steel-hard cock, and that made us both moan. Bill had me smashed hard up against the door now, but he was stroking in and out very slowly, mostly in, closer and harder in, deeper in. A low rumbling growl was building up in both of us.

I was beginning to feel streamers of heat cascade over my entire body as Bill pressed harder and harder against me, rolling and bumping me just enough to bring me right to the edge of coming. His mouth moved to my neck and I mirrored him, opening my lips on his artery. We bit and drank at precisely the same moment. We came together at the same moment. And we lifted bloody lips to each other at the same moment and said, "I love you."

Bill cleaned my mouth and neck and I cleaned his. I slowly lowered my legs, not sure if my knees were going to hold me, but they did, and arms entwined, we walked through the big house to Bill's bed.

I would have been content to stay there until dawn sent us to our sleeping place, just looking at him and memorizing him all over again, but my serious vampire had something on his mind. I could feel his love, and underneath, disquietude.

I stroked my fingers slowly up and down Bill's arms, and softly said, "What is it?"

Bill hugged me close and said, "It seems to be my turn to ask a question I don't want the answer to." I waited, watching him; I was in no rush to dispel our tender mood.

Bill buried his face in my hair where it spilled across the pillow—he was wild for my hair, loving to touch it, brush it, kiss it. "Sookie, I know you and Eric had sex. I know you share a blood bond… "

I interrupted, "Because of Andre; I didn't want to share a blood bond with Andre in service to Sophie-Anne, and Eric saved me that horror by binding me to him instead."

Bill only nodded. "But I have noticed before that you share something more; it was evident tonight between you. He can't stay angry with you, and you like getting under his skin. Yet he tolerates it."

"Oh Bill, you know how I like to tease…" I gave Bill a small smile, letting it go a bit lusty, "I love teasing you. I love how you are learning to tease me."

Bill's answering smile didn't reach as far his eyes, and he continued earnestly. "Darling, I must know: is there more between you and Eric. Are you… did you love him?"

The human me would have lashed out at Bill for asking something that was none of his business, but now I suspected everything about me was his business—he could feel my emotions almost as clearly as my spoken words. Still, I let him feel my irritation at his asking before I said, "I'm not sure. Perhaps… a little. I think the better question is did Eric love me."

Bill's eyes widened in surprise. "Yup, "I said, "shocking, huh? But during the time he was ensorcelled by the witches, I was hiding him. He had no memories of who he was and he, well… he told me he'd give up everything to be with me. He said he would honor me above all things." I let that thought spin out between us for a few long moments.

Bill studied my face for some sign that I was making fun, but he could feel my seriousness. He scowled, "I am finding this hard to believe."

"You?" I scoffed. "I can't believe it still. But the night Filipe De Castro took over Louisiana, Eric's memory came back. He told me those few lost days were among the happiest of his existence."

As I revealed Eric's feelings to Bill, I saw that vampire possessiveness almost turning Bill green. His eyes, normally deep and open to me, were shallow and closed off. I could feel his hurt, but he HAD asked.

Moving with careful slowness, I took his face between my hands. If I had to tell Bill how much I loved him every day for the rest of time, I knew I would: he was that important to me.

"Honey," I explained, "before you, I had never been in love (I had actually told Bill this fact when I had known him less than a week). I didn't know what being in love was. But you taught me. And when I thought we would never be together again, I was free to search for all the feelings you awakened in me. A couple of times, I came close to finding them." Bill's eyes were still closed off, but I was packing truth into all the emotions I was sending toward him. "I never found what I had with you in anyone else. Once Eric came to himself, he wasn't going to stay with me; you know that as well as I do. Once Quinn (Bill jumped at the mention of my ex-weretiger lover) showed me that I would never come first in his life, I knew there was no future with him. Alcide might have wanted me, but there was too much baggage there for me to feel more than desire, and I knew better than to act on that desire (Bill's eyes flashed fury so quickly I wasn't sure I'd seen it). And Sam might have loved me, once (I still hadn't told Bill about Sam), but my own feelings were based in just friendship and trust."

Like a dog on a ham hock, Bill was going to worry this idea down to the marrow: "When I saw you kissing him at the bar, you seemed to be enjoying it."

"Oh yeah, I liked it all right." Again, that flash in the depth of Bill's eyes. "But I wasn't with you anymore. It was my prerogative to kiss anyone I wanted to—and it was a nice kiss—Sam is warm and that was real different for me back then." Bill looked positively sullen.

I kissed Bill then. I kissed him with my heart and soul and mind and body; I put everything I knew and a few things I didn't into that kiss, and despite himself, Bill responded with ardor. I drew back just a tiny bit and whispered, "Sam never kissed me like that. No one has ever kissed me like that. Oh Bill, don't you see? You taught me to kiss and love and make love the way you wanted to be kissed and loved. You made me for YOU. And in doing that, you made it impossible for me to be satisfied by anyone else."

Bill's eyes opened to me then, and I poured my gaze into them, willing him to feel all my love. He was radiantly pale; I had never seen anything so beautiful.

Bill's voice came from far away, "You are mine?"

"Yes, Bill, just like you've always said."

As if talking to himself, Bill repeated, "You are mine." Then he threw back his head and in a deafening roar that seemed to rock the house, my vampire proclaimed to the entire world, "You are MINE!"


	12. Chapter 12

Because Bill was older, he needed less sleep than me. This meant he could wake me up in his favorite way: he was ever so insistently tonguing my ear. I woke up aroused and ready.

Since we had gone to our rest naked and wrapped in each other's arms, I could feel Bill's stiffness wedged between us. I blinked and stretched. "Take me to bed?" I asked, still not quite awake. Bill pushed open the trap door from his basement and lifted me out. He sprang up behind me and scooped me up in his arms.

I nuzzled my face against his and murmured in his ear, "Sometime, I should try carrying you…" Now, Bill was a gentleman of the Civil War era, and while he enjoyed many modern things, others threw him for a loop. He could be shocked by women doing their equality thing, and he sometimes got uppity when I called him on it. Like now.

He whisked me into the bedroom and tossed me on the bed. I bounced a couple of times, before getting up on my knees to look him over. His body had gone a bit stiff—and I'm not talking manhood here—over my suggestion. I raised my eyebrows at him and Bill said, "Sookie, I don't think I'd care for you trying to carry me."

"What? You don't think I'm strong enough?" I challenged.

"Oh, you are strong. And you will get stronger. But it still surprises me that women want to be like men and work. Wouldn't you like… don't you want me to take care of you?"

I chuckled at that. "You big silly," I grinned, "Don't you think women have always worked hard, even if it wasn't at a paying job? Don't you think women during the Civil War had to be strong and take care of everything while you were off fighting?"

Bill did not like anyone making light of The Great War. I could see on his face—and the rest of him—that he was upset. I hadn't meant to start our night like this. How could I get us back on the right track?

I pressed my knees hard into the bed and bounced up. My hair lifted and floated down to my shoulders and my breasts jiggled a little. I caught Bill's eyes darken when he saw that. I bounced up and down again, higher. Part of him bounced higher too. I sprang from the bed and grabbed Bill around the waist—I couldn't actually lift him, but I was able to tip him over and spill him on the bed, falling on top of him.

I shook my hair back from my face to see Bill glaring at me. Oh for heaven's sake! "Bill," I said lightly, "I intend to fuck that look right off your face!"

"Oh really?" It was Bill's turn to challenge me. Before I could respond, he flipped me over and was on top of me, holding both of my wrists over my head in one of his large hands. With the other, he pushed my legs apart and rammed himself into me. I yelped and started struggling to free my hands, but he grabbed my mouth in his and kissed me like he was going to eat me up. I swung my legs over his back, locking him to me. I met each of his strokes halfway, tightening my legs to slam him into me over and over. Bill was growling low in his throat, and I sucked his tongue into my mouth and bit down hard. Bill groaned and bled into my mouth. I swallowed his blood and it made sparks dance behind my eyelids. He lifted his head and I turned my face away, exposing my neck in anticipation of what was coming. Bill's mouth came down fast and his fangs drove into my neck—I grunted with the force of it and when he sucked in my blood, the sparks erupted lower. I wrenched an arm free and grabbed Bill's thick hair. I yanked his head back, and some of my blood dripped from his lips. I lifted my mouth to his chest, biting him above his nipple, and he roared his orgasm as I drew in his blood. Sparks flew out between us and I answered him with my own explosion of ecstasy.

Bill collapsed on me, cleaning the wound on my neck. I rolled us onto our sides and licked the bite on his chest, which had already begun to close up. I kissed Bill on his soft, cool, parted lips and whispered into his mouth, "I didn't mean to upset you."

"And I didn't mean to belittle you," Bill responded. He raised up on his elbow, and pushed my hair away from my face. "Let me take you to Merlotte's for a drink."

That idea made me hold real still; it would be my first time as a vamp running into lots of people I knew. Perhaps this was Bill's way of urging me to "come out of the coffin" my own self.

He interpreted my hesitation as reluctance to expose my altered state. "Sookie," Bill cajoled, "You will have to do this some time…"

"I know, Bill, but…"

He interrupted, "Look at what happened the first time I walked into Merlotte's: I most certainly didn't want to be there, but I found you, and the whole world is different for me now. And besides, I'd like to show you off. I am proud of you."

This made me smile; Bill was my first love, my true love, and my vampire daddy, and he was proud of me. He wanted to show me off, and where this might have made the human me furious, I was eager to be shown off. I already liked being a vampire, and I had a few bones to pick with the locals over their vamp prejudices.

To distract myself from having to explain why I didn't especially want to go to Merlotte's, I picked up Bill's book from the bedside table—he was always reading: the paper, internet sites, books and magazines. He claimed he had a lot to catch up on. I flipped the book open to his bookmark, and something about that slip of paper looked familiar. As I pulled it out to examine, Bill made a snatch to take it from me, but my new vampire speed allowed me to avoid him. I studied his face: "Secrets, Bill?" I said a bit archly.

Bill ducked his head in his chest.

I looked at the paper. It was a much folded and refolded page from a magazine. It was a picture of me.

Bill's bookmark was a slightly tattered photo torn from a fashion magazine of me in a long blue dress with a low cut tight bodice and loads of petticoats—it was a picture from a photo shoot I had done with the fairy Claude for his portfolio—I was dressed as a romance novel heroine. Claude's image had mostly been torn away, but I was there with my hair all piled up and showing more leg than any lady from that time would ever have done.

"What on earth?" I mused. "Bill?" If a vamp can look embarrassed, mine did. He glanced at me sideways, and said, "I didn't have any photographs of you. You look so beautiful in that blue dress; I love you in long dresses. I dreamed of diving under your petticoats and biting you."

Well, who'd have thought? Bill loved this picture of me. He loved ME. It was still hard to believe. I carefully folded up the picture and put it back in the book, closing it and handing it to him. I heaved a great sigh and slid into his arms. "I was thinking of you when that picture was taken," I told Bill then, and felt his arms tighten around me.

"Huh," Bill scoffed. I could feel his suspicion—he was remembering how hurt I'd been by things he'd had to do. "Honey, I had to think about something besides Claude, " I said, "and at least thinking about making love with you put the right look on my face for that photo.

"But whatever… I'm glad it got your attention." I sighed again.

Then I said, "I'm not sure how I feel about going to Merlotte's. Sam fired me."

I felt Bill's anger boil up at my words. "Sam fired you? What happened?"

I felt like I was always explaining myself, but I knew I couldn't put this off any longer; this was the last thing to get out in the open.

"I'm not completely sure," I told Bill. "After Niall stole my baby, I was very weak—there was no way I could work and I asked Sam for time off. He had been super patient with me, all those times I had to be away—going to Dallas, and New Orleans (I gulped a bit: I had learned an awful lot about my cousin Hadley during that trip), and Rhodes. He never begrudged me what I needed, and he always supported me.

"Sometimes, he would talk about how much had changed, with vamps coming out in the open, and weres getting ready to organize, and how he wanted to go back to when things seemed simpler. He once asked me if I didn't want that, too—that was right after the were battle when Patrick Furnan died. I told him 'no,' because at least my life had become a lot more interesting. I think he was disappointed by my saying that.

"Anyway, he didn't want to be a part of all these changes—shifters don't hang together, they don't organize—he wanted things to go back to the way they were before you walked into Merlotte's that very first time. Maybe part of his dislike of you was how much everything changed after that night."

Bill gave a snort at that, and I could feel his dislike of Sam in our blood connection.

"I'd been back at work a few weeks. Sam had been a bit stand-offish with me, but I hadn't asked him about it. The night you found me in the cemetery, Sam had taken me to his office and told me he wanted routine and stability and peace in his life. He had hoped to have those things with me, but he realized I could never give him those things. What I gave him was an undependable employee who was running around with vamps, needing protection, and getting herself beat up and in the hospital.

"So he fired me," I shrugged.

Bill looked utterly incredulous. He almost sputtered, "But… he loves you! I have always disliked him for that, but he protected you during times when I could not. He has always stood with you when you were in danger."

"Yes, he has. Sam has always cared for me. I don't think I realized how much. I think being telepathic shuts me off from people, makes me not want to notice things I should—isn't that ironic? But ultimately, I put Sam through too much; I took advantage of him one time too many."

Bill looked thoughtful. His voice was very quiet when he spoke, "I believe that Sam cares for you still. You have a way of getting under people's skins, Sookie, and that is both endearing and annoying. Even Eric… " Bill didn't finish that thought—was he always going to be sore about that?

"Well, YOU certainly came back to me, " I smiled.

"Actually, "Bill corrected, "YOU came back to ME." Bill swept me back into his arms. "I never wanted to leave you; but you wouldn't give me the time of day." That expression sounded out of place coming from my Civil War soldier. He continued, "Sam will want you to come back. He won't want to be without you for long."

"Maybe. But customers will use their influence to keep me away. I heard a lot of minds in the bar that night, when word went around that I was fired. I heard… terrible things. All of the old prejudices were still there and more besides. Folks don't think highly of me at all.

You told me once that I was spoiled for humans." I heard Bill's surprised intake of breath, and raised my fingers to his lips in a "shush" gesture. He took my hand and kissed my palm—the feel of his lips never failed to get my whole attention. But I needed to finish. "You were right, Bill. Once we fell in love, I felt powerful and in control. I started finding my place in the world. My talent was useful. I mattered for the first time in my life."

Bill rubbed his chin against my hair. His long, cool fingers tucked stray strands behind my ears. He murmured against the top of my head, "I put you in great danger."

"I don't quite see it that way, sweetheart. I think the Queen put me in danger. I think Eric put me in danger. And my talent put me in danger. But a big part of me sort of enjoyed that: it's exciting! I was so bored before I met you, and then everything changed for me. I didn't know then that I had supe blood, but looking back, it all makes so much sense. I was so proud of my humanness and that was actually what was holding me back. It was my supernatural heritage that would set me free."

"So you don't want to work at Merlotte's?" Bill asked.

"I'll miss it. But I think my being a vamp will seal the deal on Sam's decision. And I want to find another sort of work—work that matters. Work like you've been doing."

Bill's dark brows shot up. "I thought you didn't like my work, and…" he hesitated and I could feel what was coming. "…it almost got us both killed." He was thinking about Lorena kidnapping him and torturing him to gain control of his worldwide vampire directory.

"Oh, I hated it back then. It took your attention away from me and I'm selfish when it comes to you. But I'll never forgive myself for leaving you like that, that December before you were stolen from me. I am ashamed at how badly I treated you sometimes." I felt Bill's smile at my saying that, but I pushed on. "I've seen how important your work has been to your community—I mean, our community! I want to make a contribution like that."

Bill held me at arms' length and studied my face; I could also feel him studying my blood, and being pleased with what he found there, "The new King will hold a summit to formally declare his control of Louisiana and forge his alliances with the surrounding territories. He will most assuredly want you with him."

"Mmmm," I pondered that probability. My initial reaction to Filipe De Castro was one of wary curiosity. Eric had told me he'd have to stay on his toes to keep ahead of the new King, so I could count on him being an astute businessman and a consummate leader. He certainly had treated me well so far, taking me into his protection, which was a great honor. And there was the matter of what Niall had done to me to be sorted out. I wondered if I'd like working for the King. Bill tilted his head at my thought and said, "Did you 'like' working for the Queen? It may not be a matter of what you want, Sookie."

"If the King doesn't like what I want, then he can bite me," I said in exasperation.

Bill sucked in his breath in shock, "Wha-at?!"

"Oh Bill," I leaned in to brush his lips with mine. "It's just an expression."


	13. Chapter 13

Since Bill had some work to do on his report for Eric, I had gone out on my own to feed; he'd promised to handle my registration forms as well—what a sweetie! Seems there might be things to love about a computer geek, workaholic boyfriend after all.

I had to admit, I needed some time to myself, too. I wandered aimlessly around the cemetery, putting off going back to Bill's. I felt rosy with blood and happier than I'd been in months, but in the past few years, everything had changed for me—and I do mean everything. It was all a bit hard to accept.

I knelt down by Gran's grave marker. Ever since my parents died when I was little, Gran had been parent, teacher, counselor, and friend to me. Losing her had brought Bill to me, that first time, which seemed like ages ago.

I leaned against Gran's marker—it was cool and smooth. The night was calm and close, and there was a buzz of cicadas up in the old trees. I didn't feel the weight of sadness that had been overpowering me, and I wondered if my turning was already having an effect on my emotions. When I was human, I had certainly been aware—and infuriated sometimes—by a general lack of caring in vamps. Maybe if I had hundreds of years of thoughts and feelings accumulated, I'd start closing myself off from others too. Maybe vamps stayed so aloof because time made it easier to be hurt, rather than harder. I wondered if this was something I could get Bill to talk about. He had certainly done more talking since he'd brought me over, more than I'd ever experienced with him before—although it was pretty obvious that I was the chatty one in our relationship.

My mind drifted back through the past couple of years. I'd seen people die; I had killed a few myself. I had even sought the death of a couple of them. I'd lost so many that I had known—Dawn, Quinn, Arleen, Lafayette, Sophie-Anne, my cousin Hadley, Sam, Niall—if not to death, then to a form of relationship divorce. Jason had been bitten by a were and now changed every full moon. I'd learned to use my telepathy to help others. I'd made a baby with a fae man and had it stolen by my fairy grandfather. And I was no longer human. It was all so strange. It had only been a few years since humans had to accept the presence of vampires among them, and now I was one too.

Tonight I had fed off a human being, rather than taking something out of the freezer to eat (I was going to have to clean out the refrigerator sometime soon… ). It didn't seem that different to me, but I'm not one to do a lot of pondering. I had once told Eric that vamps were like lions and he countered that lions don't caress or protect their meals, so vamps were pretty different that way. I can't say I was enjoying the hunting, but I definitely liked the blood. And I was sensing an urge in me to talk with my victims, and I also sensed that would be a mistake.

I don't know how long I stayed there, but I could feel the moist night air seeping into my bones. I was feeling low as dirt, and if I sat there any longer, I just might turn into it. It was odd to contemplate an infinite future: what would I do with my time? Would I find a new sort of work? Most pressing of all, would I be able to stay with my vampire? At least for now, yes. When I had talked with Pam about her being turned by Eric, she had admitted that she had stayed with him for years, and that she cared for him greatly; my staying with Bill wasn't entirely doomed. I got up and headed toward the lights in Bill's windows.

I let myself into the house. As soon as I stepped through the door, I was bowled over by the smell of perfume. I walked into the main room, and felt my eyes open wide. "Bill!" I whooped in surprise, "What is all this?"

The room was filled with roses. There were deep red roses in vases on the center table and along the mantle. There were snow white roses in bowls lining the walls. Dark pink roses were woven in and around the sconces. Even the carpet and the upholstery was strewn with roses petals—there must have been hundreds of flowers blooming in that room.

In the midst of it all, gleaming faintly in the candlelight, stood my vampire. He was staring at me like I was the most delicious thing on a buffet table, and he was holding an immense bunch of yellow roses. As he held them out to me, I stepped up and took them, burying my face in them to inhale their heady fragrance and hide my delight and confusion.

Bill pressed his mouth against my hair, and moved his face down to rub along my long golden plaits (he had braided my hair for me before I went out to feed; that kept it from getting bloody, plus he just loved to mess around with my hair.). "You are intoxicating," Bill murmured into my neck.

Since I was so taken aback and didn't know what to expect, I was feeling nervous, so I gave him a little bump with my shoulder. "That's just the fresh blood in me speaking to you." He grabbed my gaze with his eyes, telling me through that blood that it was me and me alone who dazzled him, and I felt his look down to my toes. I gently shook the roses at him and asked, "What's the occasion?"

Bill steered me to the couch, and we sat knee to knee. Bill caressed the yellow blossoms, and I watched those long pale fingers that I loved so much, that stirred so many wonderful feelings in me—I felt a tad jealous of the blooms.

Because I took some of Bill's blood, and he some of mine, every day that I'd been a vamp, we could read each other's emotions; Bill smiled just a little bit and said, "Jealous? You are jealous of the flowers?"

"Mmmm. Well, you are touching them and looking at them… "

Bill didn't answer me directly, but he looked in my eyes. His own dark brown eyes moved down to my mouth and his lips parted ever so slightly—my fangs ran out a bit at that—then returned to lock onto my eyes again. "So blue," he almost whispered, "I could drown in your blue eyes."

Then he remarked seemingly out of nowhere: "Did you know that during my human life, there was a language of flowers?" I shook my head, puzzled. He continued, "Each type and color of blossom had a meaning, so when a man gave flowers to a woman, he was also sending complex messages." Bill paused and seemed to go deep inside himself. As if talking to himself, he began fingering the roses again, "Red roses mean a love of great passion. White roses mean purity and virginal love. Pink roses are for the mystery of undiscovered love. Yellow roses do in fact represent jealousy (I gasped at that) …or unfaithful love."

I trembled so violently that the roses shook in my hands. Bill's eyes sought mine, and all I could feel from him was a wash of pure, utterly true love. I could feel my confusion suffuse my face as Bill said, "All these roses are our history together. All that has happened between us is told by these flowers."

I looked round the room, then. I could see that there were huge numbers of red roses, more than I could easily count. I looked back to the bouquet in my hands—it was comparatively small (a little piece of me wondered if the relative size of yellow to red was Bill's accounting of our past or what he thought was my own assessment… ).

"Bill, it is all beautiful. I am stunned by all this. But… I'm sorry… I still don't understand."

"I love you, "Bill said in that simple and maddening way he had. "There are not enough flowers in the world to deliver that message to you. But I wanted to try."

"Sweetheart," I could feel tears pressing on my eyelids. "You don't have to try. I get it. And we have all of time to keep showing each other."

Bill stroked my braids, unraveling them a bit. "You are more beautiful than all these roses. You are more beautiful than the sunsets I remember from boyhood. You are more beautiful than moonlight. You put diamonds to shame."

"Oh Bill," I ducked my head, suddenly shy. "I'm not… I don't think… diamonds?"

Bill slid off the couch onto one knee and drew from his pocket a small blue velvet box; he flipped it open. "Certainly more beautiful than this one," he said, holding the box out to me. I stared. Was this actually happening? For a long moment, I looked at Bill through the pink haze of my vampire tears.

Bill took from the box a magnificent diamond ring in an old fashioned, almost Victorian setting, and clasping my left hand, he slid it on my finger. "I don't know what the future holds for us. I know you well enough to foresee adventure and even danger," said my wonderful vampire in his dark voice. "All I know is that I want you with me for all time. My darling Sookie, will you marry me?"

I flung my arms around my vampire, pushing him down on the carpet with an audible UMPH like air whooshing out of a cushion. I covered his face with kisses, and lying there on top of him, while he tightened his arms around me, I held the diamond up to watch it sparkle in the candlelight.

"You want me to be your wife?" I murmured.

"Yes. Please," was Bill's equally quiet response.

"Well, alrighty then," I grinned.

And together, we laughed and kissed until it was time for the sun to come up.


	14. Chapter 14

This is the epilogue to _Better Off Dead_; thank you for reading my first book, and please check out _Fairest of the Fae_, my second venture in fan fiction. I have an outline going for a third book that will tie the two previous ones together in a trilogy! Look for that one to begin posting after the winter solstice.

* * *

My existence as a vampire has not followed expected paths; am I actually surprised?

Not really. Nothing in my time on earth has been predictable, although much of it should have been.

Bill and I live in Cornwall—that's in England, ya'll—where I've established a psychology practice for supes (mostly vamps) struggling to mainstream and get along in a human world. The States still does not want vamps to become docs (even though there were many fine vampire doctors before the Great Revelation), and when I realized that I was perfectly equipped to help vampires assimilate, Bill suggested we move somewhere more progressive in their attitudes toward who is allowed to help others. In thirty short years, I've established a reputation as the top—and close to only—psychologist to successfully treat the vampire mind; vamps come from all over the world to see me. Usually, they've tried to make sense of the modern world by reading advice columns in the newspapers or watching talk TV, and there are huge internet chat rooms and forums where vamps try to "help" each other; those usually degrade into name-calling and online fisticuffs pretty quickly. But vamps have to deal with problems no humans have had to (other than in their worst nightmares) and modern psycho-babble ain't gonna cut it for older bloodsuckers. What's funny is that I mostly just, well… listen to them.

My job is doing something I ran from doing my entire human life.

Thinking about being human reminds me that I am especially grateful Bill and I escaped most of the craziness that the South went through when the weres got organized and made themselves known to humans. Louisiana in particular is still dealing with the aftermath of that violent time. I had to leave behind a few friends—although Eric still calls once in a while to plague me and Pam was actually in treatment with me for a few months when a woman she'd turned got staked in the supe civil war of 2015. And I'd had to abandon one large hope: that of finding my daughter, stolen from me before I ever saw her face. I keep praying that I will survive long enough to meet her, but I don't dwell on it too hard.

Bill has continued his wild love affair with technological advances, and actually runs his own company (he's always maintained that he never wanted to run anything, but he secretly enjoys it).

We spend too much time apart, Bill in London and Tokyo and California. But I still remember like it was yesterday a time when I was human and Bill and I were apart for three weeks after a trip to Dallas—when we got back together, we had the most unforgettable, mind-blowing sex either of us had ever had—at least, up to that time! So as tricky as it is to stay faithful to each other over the days he's gone—especially for me; as a newish vamp, I can get arousal confused with hunger when I feed—the reunions are fucking fabulous. Literally.

Years ago we had caused each other so much heartache over infidelity, we are not going to jeopardize our love for each other by being stupid like that again. We'd spent entirely too much time punishing each other for things that neither of us could control. Once we were finally able to admit that we were made for each other—and I was quite literally made for Bill, by Bill—we didn't waste any more time being foolish about love.

And boy, do we love each other. I had no idea that I could love Bill more than I did when he first turned me, but it just gets bigger and bigger. Turns out, by having each other's blood regularly—for the first decade or so, it was daily—our blood bond makes us almost like two halves of the same being. We feel each other's emotions to the point where we are practically in each other's heads—and absolutely in each other's hearts. When he returns from a trip, I can usually feel his presence back on British soil and it makes me ridiculously happy.

Vampire marriages are pretty common nowadays. Although when Bill and I tied the knot, it was pretty unusual. And there still aren't a lot of vamp/vamp marriages; trust is always going to be an issue for us. Although you'd think, with our overwhelming sense of possessiveness, we'd have jumped all over the idea of officially, legally "owning" each other.

It took a while for humans to get used to the idea that vamps can be wonderful or criminal, considerate or nasty, thoughtful or bastards—exactly like their fellow humans—before mortal/vamp relationships got widespread. But that irrepressible human curiosity about vampires eventually won out. Before I went to college, I worked real hard to fight prejudice against vamps. I was pretty good at persuading humans to see my side of things—that was what made me see I should be in the persuading line of work.

Bill keeps a photograph on his desk of us at our wedding. We look like any other radiantly happy couple, if a bit paler than most. He is simply edible in his tuxedo, those exquisite dark eyes staring down the camera. I look pretty hot myself, in a long, dusk blue dress with loads of frilly petticoats (Bill did some pretty fancy petticoat diving once we were alone after the ceremony) and my hair all piled up in curls. Just about everyone we knew was there… except Eric. He sent an amazing gift, though. Pam and Amelia stood up for me—I had wanted to ask Portia to please Bill, but ultimately we both agreed that she'd never do it; she did attend though, and so did Andy. The biggest shock was Bill asking Sam to be his best man and Sam actually agreed. There were no fairies there—if you don't count Russell Edgington and his mate Bart—but I guess… what with all the vamps present… and all…

Before the sun rises each morning, I thank my lucky stars that Bill is my sire, my lover, my best friend, my husband. Mostly, I am grateful that Bill walked into Merlotte's that night so long ago, even if it was under false pretenses. I am so glad that my first vampire became my eternal one. To anyone who says they don't believe in love at first sight, I just tell 'em I found love at first bite, ha ha.

Now don't get me wrong: we still drive each other nuts. But because we can read each other so perfectly, we rarely get to the point of fury. And when we do, I'll tear a tree out of the ground and Bill will flip over a car and we'll fuck until we can't walk.

I remember once Bill got super jealous—some things never change—over a young soccer player I fed on one too many times for Bill's liking. He knows I have an unfortunate tendency to want to be friendly with my meals, and I spent too much time talking with this particular kid (he reminded me of the young David Beckham, a gorgeous soccer player from long ago—he died last year. But when he was young? Whew, somebody should have brought him over.). Bill got all fangy with me, telling me I had to rely on synthetic blood more and on humans less.

"You want me to feed less?" I was incredulous.

"Sookie, you don't need to feed as often now that you are older," Bill said. He still liked playing teacher, but even though he was over 200 years old, I already knew more about vamps as beings than he ever would.

My eyes narrowed. "You are jealous."

"Yes."

His bluntness got my ire up. "Then I'll only feed… from YOU!"

I pounced on him and grabbed him. Bill was still a lot stronger than me, and that was likely to always be the case. But for the most part, he never showed me his true strength, especially directed toward me. I had seen him shove other vamps through walls, but I trusted him to never do that shit with me. So he let me grab his arm and twirl inside it until my back was against him and his arm was held fast over my shoulder. Before he could really react, I'd pressed my mouth inside his elbow and let down my fangs through his skin. I sucked HARD and Bill's first reaction was to pull away—all that did was tear his skin and make the blood flow more, and I sucked on the wound mercilessly.

Now, if Bill had truly wanted to get away from me, he certainly could have. But he started rumbling in his throat (vampire men in my sexual experience—all two of them—growl when aroused) and swayed against my back. I pushed backwards and felt his hardness filling his jeans. He snaked his other arm around me and unzipped my jeans, slipping his cool hand inside them and his cool fingers inside me. I gave him a bump with my butt and drew on his blood even harder. Bill moaned and crooked his fingers inside me in a come here motion guaranteed to scratch that especially sensitive spot inside me, and he got exactly the reaction he was looking for: I sighed and bubbled in his blood. He dug his fingers in me so hard that he was lifting me off my feet just a bit, the bones in his hand making urgent contact with my swelling nub.

Bill was rubbing his erection on me in earnest now, and I could feel in his body and in his blood that he was ready for something more.

Still, I drew on his arm, holding it tight with both my hands. Bill began a low whine, bumping harder into my back and stabbing his fingers in me, grinding my nub almost—but not quite—painfully, as his desire for me took him. "I want you," he gasped, and I just drew harder on his wound.

Suddenly Bill, got very still. "Sookie?"

I just sucked in his blood.

"Sookie?" Bill sounded urgent.

"Sookie! Are you trying to drain me?!" Bill roared. I jumped, but I didn't let go.

"You demon," Bill howled, and shoved off our jeans, even as I arched my back to him, going up on my tippy-toes. I heard his zipper and felt him enter me in the same second. His free arm went around me to pull me onto him, and his mouth came down on my shoulder with barely contained ferocity. He bit so hard I almost let go of him, but I managed to still pull in his blood as I felt mine pouring into his mouth.

Bill pounded me at one end and sucked me at the other, and I couldn't tell which made me giddier. I slammed my hips back into him, driving him deeper, and as I felt his legs tremble—loss of blood? Lust?—I lifted my mouth and cried out his name. I felt our blood rampaging through our bodies and I came. My orgasm must have shot through my veins because Bill bubbled blood too, and moaned into the wound as he came.

We sagged against each other, and Bill cleaned my shoulder. I was too drained—oh big frickin' HA HA—to give his arm more than a cursory lick, as Bill nuzzled into my neck.

"No more soccer players?" Bill whispered in my ear.

"Oh, I'll still play… with you," I murmured back. Then I flipped my foot back and kicked him.

But not very hard.


End file.
